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  1. Posted: March 18, 2017In: Drama

    A 18 years young guy, who lost his college camera ,which he need to submit in college next day, A camera which has a legacy & his short film. How he got back his camera back

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on March 19, 2017 at 8:09 pm

    English may not be the mother tongue in this case, but it's still worth while dedicating a little more time on the sentence construct to make the logline read better than it is - check out Richiev's post.Agreed with DPG, the stakes seem underwhelming. In addition, the inciting incident needs specifyRead more

    English may not be the mother tongue in this case, but it’s still worth while dedicating a little more time on the sentence construct to make the logline read better than it is – check out Richiev’s post.

    Agreed with DPG, the stakes seem underwhelming.

    In addition, the inciting incident needs specifying – what event caused him to lose the camera? Was it a drinking competition? A brawl in a pub?

    Lastly the age is not critical to the plot and can be cut from the logline.

    It may be useful for you to check out the formula tab on the top bar.

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  2. Posted: March 17, 2017In: Drama

    A family heirloom leads a successful businessman through dangerous Brazilian jungle to choose between revenge for his father?s death, and the truth that caused it.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on March 18, 2017 at 4:54 am

    I agree with dpg, you need a few specifics. Here would be an example of a logline where the character has a specific goal: (your logline would be different of course)-----"When he discovers his family crest is actually a secret map to El Dorado, an adventurous business man travels to the jungles ofRead more

    I agree with dpg, you need a few specifics. Here would be an example of a logline where the character has a specific goal: (your logline would be different of course)
    —–
    “When he discovers his family crest is actually a secret map to El Dorado, an adventurous business man travels to the jungles of Brazil determined?to discover?the mythical city, only to find his dead fathers old rivals are hot on the trail as well.”

    —–
    Hope that helped

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  3. Posted: June 21, 2016In: Drama

    An overworked suburban mother and professional hit women, reaches breaking point as she struggles to juggle the work life balance.

    Best Answer
    DoubleXX Logliner
    Added an answer on March 18, 2017 at 1:15 am

    Hey guys, Below is the updated Logline - your thoughts welcome, thanks. A cash strapped hit-woman, must confront the demons of her past, while juggling the bone crunching world of professional hits and the guardianship of her deceased sisters kids.

    Hey guys,

    Below is the updated Logline – your thoughts welcome, thanks.

    A cash strapped hit-woman, must confront the demons of her past, while juggling the bone crunching world of professional hits and the guardianship of her deceased sisters kids.

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