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A Ethical Hacker and his reconciled mother, attempt to muckraking the person behind hackings of his employer
The plot is too vague for this logline to work, here are? a few points that stood out:Not sure making the hacker ethical is necessary - all hackers are ethical in their own minds...Not sure also why the mother is necessary if it's his story.Lastly, I'm not sure what specifically is the hacker's goalRead more
The plot is too vague for this logline to work, here are? a few points that stood out:
Not sure making the hacker ethical is necessary – all hackers are ethical in their own minds…
Not sure also why the mother is necessary if it’s his story.
Lastly, I’m not sure what specifically is the hacker’s goal, as this last one is crucial I suggest making sure the goal is clear first before making any other changes.
See lessWhen unknowingly a lottery salesman sells a winning ticket, he continues his eternal battle to survive, living in his beach cavern, and crosses the path of an interesting fauna of people ? amongst whom the winner.
This is very confusing to read. Lottery salesmen probably sell lots of winning tickets without knowing, it's part of their job. If he/she already had a winning ticket, but sold it due to being broke or desperate, it ups the stakes and makes the story more interesting. The word "fauna" is misused, heRead more
This is very confusing to read.
Lottery salesmen probably sell lots of winning tickets without knowing, it’s part of their job. If he/she already had a winning ticket, but sold it due to being broke or desperate, it ups the stakes and makes the story more interesting.
The word “fauna” is misused, here it just comes off as trying to too hard. Also, what is a beach cavern? Makes it sound like he lives in a cave.
See lessA 20th Century future king with the wisdom of King Solomon and the skills of Bruce Lee must overcome the evils of the royal family.
Hard to add anything of much value to this thread, but I will say that a mix of martial arts and monarch drama sounds very interesting. I look forward to reading future drafts of this.
Hard to add anything of much value to this thread, but I will say that a mix of martial arts and monarch drama sounds very interesting.
See lessI look forward to reading future drafts of this.