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A hometown bound 60 year old veteran is forced to reunite with his family across stranger seas. Right when he is about to leave behind his home, he finds companionship in his 30 year old neighbor. But when the inevitable D day arrives, he must lose one family to gain another.
Agreed with the above, study the guidelines in the 'Formula' tab on the top bar and re draft it. A few good starting points: What is the MC's character flaw? What specifically MUST the MC achieve? What motivates the MC to achieve his goal?
Agreed with the above, study the guidelines in the ‘Formula’ tab on the top bar and re draft it.
A few good starting points:
What is the MC’s character flaw?
What specifically MUST the MC achieve?
What motivates the MC to achieve his goal?
See lessA reworking of a previous attempt: A shy teenager makes a breakthrough into an underground art scene, but struggles to maintain her creativity after being treated for her mental illness.
What's her goal? And what's standing in her way?
What’s her goal? And what’s standing in her way?
See lessRework: When an Australian find of Nazi-confiscated, priceless coins is stolen from police evidence, the Senior Detective must trace an escaped Gestapo Officer to his murderous Detective grandson
Agreed with Dkpough1. A detective must chase the criminal because that is his job, in other words, this is the normal day-to-day in his or her life and therefore does not constitute an out of the ordinary inciting incident. There is no real 'hook' nothing particularly enticing about a detective chasRead more
Agreed with Dkpough1. A detective must chase the criminal because that is his job, in other words, this is the normal day-to-day in his or her life and therefore does not constitute an out of the ordinary inciting incident. There is no real ‘hook’ nothing particularly enticing about a detective chasing a criminal with stolen Nazi loot. What else can be his goal that would make this more compeling?
See less