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A jaded 40 something, estranged daughter, has to take care of her mother who suffers from Alzheimer while trying to get pregnant before it?s too late for her?
RoseVilaflor:This is my initial response to both versions of your concept.Your concept deals with two timely issues for the the female children of baby boomers: the ticking biological clock for motherhood, and children forced to become the parents of their parents when their parents are struck by thRead more
RoseVilaflor:
This is my initial response to both versions of your concept.
Your concept deals with two timely issues for the the female children of baby boomers: the ticking biological clock for motherhood, and children forced to become the parents of their parents when their parents are struck by the afflictions of old age that make them as helpless as children.
My initial reaction favors this story line which focuses on one daughter rather than an ensemble. ?Though there certainly could be other siblings in the supporting cast, it is almost always better to plot the story in terms of one primary character (aka: protagonist).
It is also best practice to frame the story with one objective goal for the protagonist. ?It seems to me the obvious candidate for the objective goal for the 40-something daughter is to become a parent before it’s too late. ?It’s ?positive, and proactive, a task assumed voluntarily and with eager anticipation.
Whereas taking care of her mother is involuntary and undertaken with the prospect of a tremendous, unpleasant, protracted ordeal.
So I would rework the logline to focus on her objective goal of becoming a mother before it’s too late. ?Her mother descending into Alzheimer’s disease is a complication. ?(And there may be others associated with finding the right guy or at least sperm donor or overcoming issues with fertility)
Finally, ?I don’t see how jaded is particularly germane and congruent to the dramatic predicament she faces.?
fwiw
See lessThree sisters are forced to join forces when Alzheimer and stroke hit their family and they need to take care of their parents while learning all about motherhood, forgiveness and the true meaning of happiness
Please use?adjectives to define your characters.Especially your protagonist(s).
Please use?adjectives to define your characters.Especially your protagonist(s).
See lessIn her online search for ?Mr. Right,? a timid computer programmer builds an algorithm that evolves into a rogue Artificial Intelligence?which the government wants to terminate.
Hi byron79, I like this logline. It's intriguing, it gives an idea where the audience is going and even gives a clear picture of who is the protagonist. What I'm missing is more clarity on who is the antagonist. Government, is too general for me to get a picture who is the protagonist going to apposRead more
Hi byron79,
I like this logline. It’s intriguing, it gives an idea where the audience is going and even gives a clear picture of who is the protagonist. What I’m missing is more clarity on who is the antagonist. Government, is too general for me to get a picture who is the protagonist going to appose.
Also I’m missing what are the stakes that are piled on the way of the protagonist. Otherwise, I find it interesting enough to read on.
See less