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When a 17 year old?s father is imprisoned she must outwit cops and criminals to get him out, whilst fooling social services into believing she can raise a previously estranged 11 year old brother.
Thanks guys. I've changed it up. And it definitely has a strong comedic twist. But Nir, I know you hate the word 'dramedy'...Lol, so I'm too scared to use it. ?Anyway (tee hee) here is a different, but correct, spin. "Determined to gain custody of her estranged little brother, a hopeless young womanRead more
Thanks guys. I’ve changed it up. And it definitely has a strong comedic twist. But Nir, I know you hate the word ‘dramedy’…Lol, so I’m too scared to use it. ?Anyway (tee hee) here is a different, but correct, spin.
“Determined to gain custody of her estranged little brother, a hopeless young woman enlists her imprisoned father?s nutso employees to fool Social Services into thinking she?s responsible.”
See lessTo overcome her posttraumatic stress disorder, a withdrawn orphaned girl, who suffers from hallucinations, decides to confide in a stranger and move to him being unaware he hides a horrifying secret connected with her past.
What motivates her to overcome her PTSD at this point in time? Or, in other words, what is her inciting incident? Also, "...a horrifying secret..." is too vague a description for a logline - be specific, what is it about this guy that puts the girl at risk? Lastly, as Craig said, what is her goal? RRead more
What motivates her to overcome her PTSD at this point in time? Or, in other words, what is her inciting incident?
Also, “…a horrifying secret…” is too vague a description for a logline – be specific, what is it about this guy that puts the girl at risk?
Lastly, as Craig said, what is her goal? Revenge against the guy? To overcome her PTSD? To find a family?
See lessMartin, a perfect square, discovers his divorce and general sense of unhappiness can be linked back to a lack lustre sex life, to help overcome his sexual inadequacies he hires a prostitute.
>>>proves his real manhoodHmm.Consider developing an ironical relationship arc where she comes to appreciate him for what he doesn't appreciate about himself. ?She loves him for what what he is, a perfectly square guy whom she can trust, who can provide her ?with stability and security. ?ThRead more
>>>proves his real manhood
Hmm.
Consider developing an ironical relationship arc where she comes to appreciate him for what he doesn’t appreciate about himself. ?She loves him for what what he is, a perfectly square guy whom she can trust, who can provide her ?with stability and security. ?That’s what she wants; that’s what she needs. ?Score one for the squares of the world.
IOW: ?Come to find out, he was pursuing the wrong goal.
See less