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  1. Posted: November 24, 2017In: Drama

    When the government quarantines the empathetic AI that she created to find ?Mr. Right,? a lonely programmer must find a way to access her AI so she can extricate his identity.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on November 27, 2017 at 3:37 am

    >>>she can extricate his identity.Say what?? Who is this "his"? Or is it a typo and it should be "her"?And I've said it before,? I fail to see the logical sense to the government shutting down the AI just because it's empathetic.? ?But you seem fixed on casting the Big Bad Government as theRead more

    >>>she can extricate his identity.

    Say what?? Who is this “his”? Or is it a typo and it should be “her”?

    And I’ve said it before,? I fail to see the logical sense to the government shutting down the AI just because it’s empathetic.? ?But you seem fixed on casting the Big Bad Government as the villain when a Big Bad Corporation seeking to cash in on the technology would seem to be a more logical option.

    And then there’s the matter of technical issues.? She’s smart enough to program an AI with empathy?– but not smart enough to secure it from the government?? Not smart enough to have a backup copy of the source code?? ?Not smart enough to code in a back door into her own application? and the platform that supports it — a back door that no one else would know about?? (Which is SOP, btw, one of the tricks of the trade.)

    (The default target audience for this story is computer nerds and geeks.? These are the questions the story will have to? answer in setting up the plot for that audience to buy into the story — buy tickets to see the movie? or rent the streaming video.? fwiw.)

    And how is it possible for the government to? “quarantine” anything in the Wild Wild West of the internet?

    But it’s your story.

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  2. Posted: November 24, 2017In: Drama

    Being fired and jobless since six months, a loving husband needs to raise 24 lakhs in 24 hours to save his wife from a killer disease!

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on November 27, 2017 at 3:27 am

    Agree with Richiev.??The predicament is not unique.? Many people are faced with a medical crisis for which they lack the money to pay for.? What is unique in this story -- or should be -- is how he plans to raise the money.A logline needs a story hook, and in this case that hook will be the unique aRead more

    Agree with Richiev.??The predicament is not unique.? Many people are faced with a medical crisis for which they lack the money to pay for.? What is unique in this story — or should be — is how he plans to raise the money.

    A logline needs a story hook, and in this case that hook will be the unique and risky way he intends to raise the money. So you gotta play that card in the logline, turn it over and lay it down for all to see.

    This raises a dramatic question (“Will he raise the money?”).? But it doesn’t give away the dramatic answer (“Yes, he does and she lives” or “No, he fails and she dies”) — something a logline should never do.

    fwiw

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  3. Posted: November 24, 2017In: Drama

    A career-focused artist demands a ?share no details? rule with her one-night-stand, but becomes tempted to break her own rule when they start to bond during the disastrous night.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on November 26, 2017 at 3:47 pm

    What are the stakes? Why is it important she they don't trade personal details? This is the centerpiece of? your plot, why is it such a bad thing that they start to get to know each other?

    What are the stakes? Why is it important she they don’t trade personal details? This is the centerpiece of? your plot, why is it such a bad thing that they start to get to know each other?

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