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  1. Posted: April 9, 2018In: Drama

    After a celebrity impersonator learns that both his wife and mistress are pregnant, he struggles with keeping the pregnancies secret. But after admitting to living an adulterous lifestyle, he winds up as a vagrant without hope of ever rebuilding his life.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 10, 2018 at 1:49 am

    Agree with variable's points.? Particularly that covering up the pregnancies doesn't work as an objective goal because it's negative.? Objectives goals are positive, proactive. (At least positive from the protagonist's point of view.? It could play out that it's the wrong goal, but at the time he maRead more

    Agree with variable’s points.? Particularly that covering up the pregnancies doesn’t work as an objective goal because it’s negative.? Objectives goals are positive, proactive. (At least positive from the protagonist’s point of view.? It could play out that it’s the wrong goal, but at the time he makes it — at the turn of Act1 — he believes it’s positive in terms of his self-interest.)

    >>>he winds up as a vagrant without hope of ever rebuilding his life.

    Is this denouement, how he ends up?? If so it’s a spoiler, and a logline should never contain a spoiler, how the story ends.? If it’s not where does it belong in the plot?? Is it a midpoint reversal?

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  2. Posted: April 9, 2018In: Drama

    Reworked my logline, please let me know which works best.

    variable Uberwriter
    Added an answer on April 9, 2018 at 5:24 pm

    1. Almost killed by whom? (and if she moves somewhere else it becomes her history which has no place in your logline)2. "To want to attend college" isn't a goal3. Her trading ghetto life is an event, But with no implied conflictNow her "moving to America as an illegal immigrant" is an interesting siRead more

    1. Almost killed by whom?
    (and if she moves somewhere else it becomes her history which has no place in your logline)

    2. “To want to attend college” isn’t a goal

    3. Her trading ghetto life is an event,
    But with no implied conflict

    Now her “moving to America as an illegal immigrant” is an interesting situation…

    Personally i liked the direction we were headed in your previous thread.

    Especially Richiev’s take..

    When she moves with her stepdad in California, a spirited Caribbean runaway uses her homespun common sense and street-smarts to overcome the prejudice and stereotype she receives from an unwelcoming neighborhood.

    A journey to fit in…

    This format has scope in endless directions
    Remember Tokyo Drift? It’s the only film I was interested–plotwise–in the FNF franchise

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  3. Posted: April 8, 2018In: Drama

    A frustrated impecunious & impartial father of five try to remain optimistic about fatherhood while constantly battling two quarrelsome, malicious, and sullen progenitors. (Previously defeated by the first mother of two) the court system, time and false molestation accusations by the second mom is pushing him closer to the edge of self destruction and fantasies of death to both progenitors.

    OfficialTeneishaCampbell Penpusher
    Added an answer on April 9, 2018 at 3:27 pm

    When a court system rules against a dedicated father of five because of disgusting lies told by his bipolar wife , he fights to prove his innocence.

    When a court system rules against a dedicated father of five because of disgusting lies told by his bipolar wife , he fights to prove his innocence.

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