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  1. Posted: November 5, 2018In: Drama

    An independent realist woman’s life is abruptly disturbed when she finds a rich, powerful, and cold hearted man that tests her strength and willpower to melt the ice around his heart.

    TinaMatzat Penpusher
    Added an answer on November 28, 2018 at 1:31 am

    independent and realist is the opposite of delusional idiocy - why did she become like that?

    independent and realist is the opposite of delusional idiocy – why did she become like that?

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  2. Posted: November 20, 2018In: Drama

    A once-shining high-school choir lead vocalist fights to use her talent to elevate herself to the heights of success after her father falls on hard times.

    mrliteral Samurai
    Added an answer on November 25, 2018 at 1:42 pm

    Who or what is she fighting? Sounds like someone or something is trying to stop her from using her talent and she's fighting in order to use it...but to what end? And how successful can one be singing high school choir? Is this competitive in some way? Is there a big prize? Doesn't seem like there wRead more

    Who or what is she fighting? Sounds like someone or something is trying to stop her from using her talent and she’s fighting in order to use it…but to what end? And how successful can one be singing high school choir? Is this competitive in some way? Is there a big prize? Doesn’t seem like there would be, in high school, for a student, therefore not a professional…

    There could be a compelling drama somewhere in the story but this logline doesn’t tell us anything about it. It’s too vague. We need to know who she is, what she wants, what’s in her way, what’s at stake if she fails or succeeds, and we need something specific or concrete.

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  3. Posted: November 21, 2018In: Drama

    Langa?s dream of being a musician is crashed when her father is suddenly crippled financially then disappears. As a result Langa?s young life takes an about-turn until after a long struggle and suffering, she gets noticed by a local producer who puts her on the road to success.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
    Added an answer on November 22, 2018 at 7:33 pm

    The road to success I take it is the story. It feels like you are stuck in the first act. Try something like this. To make ends meet a young gives up her music dreams doing menial work instead when she is discovered by a producer who ..... Or A young performer is sent on a gruelling tour by a producRead more

    The road to success I take it is the story. It feels like you are stuck in the first act. Try something like this.

    To make ends meet a young gives up her music dreams doing menial work instead when she is discovered by a producer who …..

    Or

    A young performer is sent on a gruelling tour by a producer to try and build a career and escape her poor existence but the 24 hour party and performance lifestyle nearly kills her.

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