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  1. Posted: December 29, 2018In: Drama

    A Mexican immigrant kidnaps a newborn baby. During the cat-and-mouse chase, a racist detective, discovers the abduction isn’t what it seems.

    Dkpough1 Uberwriter
    Added an answer on December 31, 2018 at 8:00 am

    "A Mexican immigrant kidnaps a newborn baby. During the cat-and-mouse chase, a racist detective, discovers the abduction isn?t what it seems." "A Mexican immigrant kidnaps a newborn baby." Seems to be the inciting incident. "During the cat-and-mouse chase, " Is not something that seems to be needed.Read more

    “A Mexican immigrant kidnaps a newborn baby. During the cat-and-mouse chase, a racist detective, discovers the abduction isn?t what it seems.”

    “A Mexican immigrant kidnaps a newborn baby.” Seems to be the inciting incident.
    “During the cat-and-mouse chase, ” Is not something that seems to be needed.
    “discovers the abduction isn?t what it seems.” A vague event in the story. I think I see what you’re trying to do. The racist cop realizes that the event they think is related to the character’s race has nothing to do with race but whatever other factor. But it still doesn’t tell the logline reader clear information.
    In fact, it seems more like a late reveal.
    What is the goal of the protagonist?

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  2. Posted: December 19, 2018In: Drama

    After an 18 year old teenager who was born and raised on a safe space colony on Mars visits the post-apocalyptic Earth for the first time, he needs to find out,where he really belongs ? with his family up on the Mars, or down here on the Earth.

    manti5 Penpusher
    Added an answer on December 23, 2018 at 6:05 am

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Space_Between_Us_(film)

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Space_Between_Us_(film)

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  3. Posted: December 16, 2018In: Drama

    Part of the municipal park was deforested. The wild cat Mitzi, remaining orphaned with her brothers, has to leave her home destroyed by wood cutters. She reaches the Big Park Reservation (Rodnei Mountains National Park), where she finds shelter in the abandoned cottage of the forester. It’s Christmas Eve and the inhabitants of the Big Park are preparing for the celebration. Mitzi and her brothers are having trouble even here, being disturbed by the bad guys: Kit-Bandit and Max-Mask. They dress up in wolves in order to scare them away from the reservation. Their true identity is discovered by the wild cat Stripy and his friends. The scheme is foiled and to Mitzi and her brothers are offered a better life, proof that their guardian angel has not left them in trouble…

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on December 18, 2018 at 8:16 pm

    It sounds like the deforestation was the inciting incident, therefore, according to the 'Formula' tab (please check it out as it will help you) the logline could be: After her home is destroyed by deforestation, a wildcat must protect her younger brothers in a hostile world. This is a good start, buRead more

    It sounds like the deforestation was the inciting incident, therefore, according to the ‘Formula’ tab (please check it out as it will help you) the logline could be:
    After her home is destroyed by deforestation, a wildcat must protect her younger brothers in a hostile world.

    This is a good start, but as stated in the ‘Formula’ tab, a logline needs to define a clear goal for the main character.

    What is the wildcat’s end game? Survival is an ongoing effort with seemingly no end in sight, what achievement will beyond a doubt signify that she has achieved safety for her brothers?

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