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A decorated officer must apprehend his son, an escaped convict.
I agree with Mike and Gianni's above points. It sounds intriguing, but as it is, we don't know? what the inciting incident is, which is what Mike is saying in his comment above. What happens to the decorated officer to make him chase his convicted son? Is it to save him from self-destruction or beinRead more
I agree with Mike and Gianni’s above points. It sounds intriguing, but as it is, we don’t know? what the inciting incident is, which is what Mike is saying in his comment above. What happens to the decorated officer to make him chase his convicted son? Is it to save him from self-destruction or being killed by someone?
Looking forward to seeing this develop further! Good luck with it 🙂
See lessYoung twin girls in ancient Egypt discover adoption records after their step-mother’s murder and sending a plea to the Pharaoh he is forced to pay for his past karma.
"Pay for his past karma" - what does that look like on screen? The story seems to head in one direction and then suddenly the Pharaoh is introduced and it switches to something else entirely. As Richiev asked - who is the lead character? Once you've decided that, write the whole thing from their perRead more
“Pay for his past karma” – what does that look like on screen?
The story seems to head in one direction and then suddenly the Pharaoh is introduced and it switches to something else entirely. As Richiev asked – who is the lead character? Once you’ve decided that, write the whole thing from their perspective. I. don’t understand what the Pharaoh has to do with anything at the moment…
Why is this set in ancient Egypt? If you’re going to go so far to set a story in such a specific location and time period I feel like I should understand why. At the moment I don’t see how this would be any different in modern day. I think in my mind, a studio wouldn’t spend the money to set it in ancient Egypt if it didn’t have to be.
See lessAmongst the Manchester riots of 1981, a union official?s young son watches as union corruption drives his father to a fatal heart attack. Years later and the son returns as a union official to fight redundancies for the same union men who killed his father.
You need a backdrop. The goal of the character and events should be a demonstration of the emotional journey the character takes. Is he keen to do the right thing? Is he keen to make the union better? A union leader travel to Manchester to fight redundancy as part of the same corrupt Union that causRead more
You need a backdrop. The goal of the character and events should be a demonstration of the emotional journey the character takes. Is he keen to do the right thing? Is he keen to make the union better?
A union leader travel to Manchester to fight redundancy as part of the same corrupt Union that caused his father?s fatal heart attack in 1981.
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