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When a young but tough stranger arrives in an isolated community, the naive queen must protect him from the suspicious villagers. But has she made the right decision?
Yes good point
Yes good point
See lessTwo friends travel through eastern europe as street musicians, searching for folk music and exploring the depths of their friendship.
The End. This is just an outline. A logline needs an inciting incident, a protagonist, antagonist(ic forces), stakes, and a goal. The reader must get a sense of the story as a whole and story is conflict.
The End.
This is just an outline. A logline needs an inciting incident, a protagonist, antagonist(ic forces), stakes, and a goal. The reader must get a sense of the story as a whole and story is conflict.
See lessThelma is the eldest sibling of a travelling show family that is struggling to survive the Great Depression. An enigmatic swagman joins the nomadic showmen and everything changes for her. Thelma discovers she wants more out of life ? a husband and a ?normal? home. She must choose between her family or her dreams.
First of all, eliminate the name. No names needed; they simply take space; word count; real estate.Second, be specific about the effect of the swagman."Everything changes for her" is generic, general, vague, clich?, non-specific, telling us nothing. Do they fall in love? Does he brainwash her? DoesRead more
First of all, eliminate the name. No names needed; they simply take space; word count; real estate.
Second, be specific about the effect of the swagman.“Everything changes for her” is generic, general, vague, clich?, non-specific, telling us nothing. Do they fall in love? Does he brainwash her? Does he rape her? Does he kill her father? All these are different stories.
And how can a nomad’s joining a family of nomads result in the daughter’s decision that she wants a normal home? One would expect that she would desire this if she actually came in contact with a normal home and realised that she wanted one. Perhaps there is a good answer, but your logline?as it is now?does not enclose it or suggest it.
Lastly “choosing” is not an action that sustains the hour or so of a film’s 2nd Act. It has been said many a time in this forum: choosing is momentary. You choose; it’s over. To find a strong action, you need an objective and a conflict.
I suggest you study the formula. It is extremely helpful in wrapping your head around your idea.
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