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2nd revision: A photographer with OCD battles her insecurities in a rare romance with a jovial woman who sees past her affliction.
Weird, I reviewed this on Thursday and now don't see it...Agree. What is the conflict between them or against the pair?If the romance is the A Story, clarify the hook and what makes this special.Along with the above, what is more meaningful to say about the? woman than jovial?
Weird, I reviewed this on Thursday and now don’t see it…
Agree.
What is the conflict between them or against the pair?
If the romance is the A Story, clarify the hook and what makes this special.
Along with the above, what is more meaningful to say about the? woman than jovial?
See lessWhen a distracted single mother learns her seemingly innocent 14-year-old son has live-streamed his murder of a girl, she must prove he is not to blame, but instead she uncovers an insidious challenge game, and his possession by a fusion of a murdered boy and her son’s primordial obsession.
Please clean up your syntax.Why is the mother "distracted?" I am curious to know what her flaw is. (I put "guilt-ridden" but you are the one calling the shots.)When she watches an online video of her teenage son murdering a girl, a guilt-ridden single mother must ...What, what, what can or must sheRead more
Please clean up your syntax.
Why is the mother “distracted?” I am curious to know what her flaw is. (I put “guilt-ridden” but you are the one calling the shots.)
What, what, what can or must she do???
As Richiev has pointed out, how can she prove he is not to blame if there is actual proof of him killing someone? Even if he were forced or tricked into it, the fact that he has killed is a heavy stone.
In any case, the second half of the logline makes little sense?syntactically, too. Which brings me to the beginning of this comment:
Please clean up your syntax.
See lessAfter learning that their recently deceased father did not make a will regarding his opulent mansion, the three siblings who distanced themselves from their hot- tempered father begin a heated dispute over the inheritance, but a revelation that that their father bequeathed the estate to his unknown illegitimate daughter he fathered with a former prostitute turn their lives upside down, relationships fall apart as betrayal, greed and desperation ensue.
Who is the lead character? Because right now none of the characters seems to be likable.Whose eyes do we see the story through and why are we pulling for one of the characters to succeed?
Who is the lead character? Because right now none of the characters seems to be likable.
See lessWhose eyes do we see the story through and why are we pulling for one of the characters to succeed?