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  1. Posted: March 7, 2019In: Drama

    After a meek high-school junior is thrown out of her house by her authoritarian mother, she unwittingly gets drawn into drugs and human trafficking, and struggles at every turn to survive in this dangerous underworld.

    RichGold1557 Penpusher
    Added an answer on March 12, 2019 at 4:01 am

    Thanks for all of your comments, they illustrate the difficulty in creating loglines.

    Thanks for all of your comments, they illustrate the difficulty in creating loglines.

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  2. Posted: March 11, 2019In: Drama

    3rd version: When she falls in love with an inspiring woman who sees past her condition, an OCD-afflicted introvert?s latent insecurities threaten her rare romance with worry, frustration and jealousy.

    Robb Ross Samurai
    Added an answer on March 11, 2019 at 11:53 pm

    >> The hook is there.. you have a building issue of a relationship that blossoms online but is hindered in real life by the stutter.Right, but the woman online does not know the man has a stutter. That's the hook, the ultimate and visual conflict, and the drama. The woman in your logline knowsRead more

    >> The hook is there.. you have a building issue of a relationship that blossoms online but is hindered in real life by the stutter.

    Right, but the woman online does not know the man has a stutter. That’s the hook, the ultimate and visual conflict, and the drama. The woman in your logline knows about the OCD and sees past it so everything is soft or internal or absent. To apply The Stutterer here would mean, as an example and not trying to make it shine: Falling in love for the first time, a protag with OCD tries every therapy and trick to keep it secret from her (description) girlfriend.

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  3. Posted: March 7, 2019In: Drama

    : Six high school boys become competitors and then, enemies, when they get involved in the drug world, leading to a triple murder.

    Robb Ross Samurai
    Added an answer on March 10, 2019 at 11:10 am

    Agree. Do they start as friends? Is this about good kids gone bad or bad kids gone worse? Clarify the hook. Specify the drug/world. Do they sell in school or everywhere in town? As above, is there something more to say about the school or the town? No need to state the triple murder and the stakes wRead more

    Agree.

    Do they start as friends? Is this about good kids gone bad or bad kids gone worse? Clarify the hook.

    Specify the drug/world. Do they sell in school or everywhere in town? As above, is there something more to say about the school or the town?

    No need to state the triple murder and the stakes will be understood when the rest is sharpened.

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