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When a king finds a strong fierce woman to be his queen, he must fight to protect from his adversary, a royal woodsman, who wants to dethrone him and keep him from having an heir.
What is a royal woodsman? Seems contradictory. Woodsmen are usually....er...woody. Royalty usually doesn't concern themselves with back-breaking work like cutting wood.? Would make sense? if the woodsman was a wood elf. You could make the adversary a miner. Hide her in the mines. Or a pirate, hide hRead more
What is a royal woodsman? Seems contradictory. Woodsmen are usually….er…woody. Royalty usually doesn’t concern themselves with back-breaking work like cutting wood.? Would make sense? if the woodsman was a wood elf.
You could make the adversary a miner. Hide her in the mines. Or a pirate, hide her away on his boat or an island. Or the town baker who is secretly a mage, hide her away in a portable hole.
See lessShort film. Many years after the war, a mother who was raped during the war lives by herself and has a young son that serves the army. While her son is on his way to surprise his mother, the father (rapist) shows up at the mother’s house to meet the son. While the mother tries to make him go away, the fight intensifies and the mother cuts the man. He goes crazy and tries to assault her, at that moment the son shows up and shoots his father.
I like the outline; there's enough conflict for a short film ..whose story is it? Depends on the Inciting Incident. Is it about the son who must (action) shoot a man to (goal) protect his mother?, or is it about the mother who must (action) stand against her rapist to (goal) redeem her dignity? PersRead more
I like the outline; there’s enough conflict for a short film ..whose story is it? Depends on the Inciting Incident. Is it about the son who must (action) shoot a man to (goal) protect his mother?, or is it about the mother who must (action) stand against her rapist to (goal) redeem her dignity? Personally, It seems to say more if you go with the mother. Choose one.
See lessI’m trying to write a script for a short film. Not a native speaker so I need help with writing my logline. Struggling with her economic situation, a lonely melancholic woman gets a one-day job to watch over a man with Alzheimer’s . Turns out that this man is her ex-husband who she got separated from 20 years ago, after their young child died.
In my checklist, the story hook is the most necessary element to having a winning logline.? And the story hook for this film project is a great one.? Strip away the superfluous information and the logline might be:A destitute woman takes the only job she can find, caring for a man with Alzheimer's,Read more
In my checklist, the story hook is the most necessary element to having a winning logline.? And the story hook for this film project is a great one.? Strip away the superfluous information and the logline might be:
A destitute woman takes the only job she can find, caring for a man with Alzheimer’s, only to discover he’s the husband who abandoned her 20 years ago.
(28 words)
Though? this logline? may be lacking in? strict logical? conformity to the standard formula, I suggest it more than compensates with a story hook that is loaded with emotional turmoil.? And as the great director Billy Wilder used to say: “Don’t give me the logic, give me the emotion .”
The discovery is a story twist that immediately escalates the dramatic tension. And it places her in a dramatic dilemma, trapped between her dramatic need (money to subsist) and her want (to have nothing to do with him).? And it implicitly raises a dramatic question replete with irony: will she abandon her job to take care of the man who now needs her most, the man who abandoned his marriage to her when she needed him most?
I do have one suggestion? in respect to the dramatic question.? Even though? it’s a short film covering (I presume) only one day, I suggest the actual time span of the job be left open ended.? Thus, the dramatic question to be answered at the end of the film would be:? will she quit after one day? Or will she do what he didn’t,? fulfill her marriage vow to have and to hold, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do them part?
This is a film I want to see. I want to know what she finally decides. Very best wishes with your project!
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