1. Posted: June 5, 2019In:

    After overlooking abuse witnessed years ago, a reserved transfer student contemplates whether he should of when the same abusive individual is his crushes boyfriend, he tries to save her.

    Best Answer
    kpetrakis01 Logliner

    I think maybe the protagonist was complicit with the violence by keeping quiet as opposed to maybe blamed for it - blamed for not stopping it.? I'm also not sure of the ages. Transfer student indicates to my high school?? Uni? Is it significant that he's a transfer student.? I think mikep has a poinRead more

    I think maybe the protagonist was complicit with the violence by keeping quiet as opposed to maybe blamed for it – blamed for not stopping it.? I’m also not sure of the ages. Transfer student indicates to my high school?? Uni? Is it significant that he’s a transfer student.?

    I think mikep has a point – is the goal to save his crush or is it to find redemption for what he did before by stopping it happening it again. There is no conflict here as both result in him helping the girl. It would be good if the goal may require him to give up the girl – therefore, he can seek redemption /rid of guilt or he can save the girl (who doesn’t yet need saving) but lose her at the same time.

    Just a suggestion, but I always like a dilemma – at the moment, what would it cost him to reveal the abuser? Maybe his own complicit part of silence? IS he liable in any other way that might mean he can be charged? Therefore, revealing the abuser puts him in trouble but not revealing her puts her in trouble. Now we have a dilemma where he will try and get both but that contravene each other. Just a thought. 🙂

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  2. Posted: May 29, 2019In:

    A closeted, sultry actress and a depressed, overachieving high school senior begrudgingly form a bond to overthrow a crazed anarchist bent on strengthening the divide between their two different lifestyles.

    henb Samurai

    I really like this logline. The descriptions of the two leads are very good! I think 'begrudgingly form a bond' could be made to sound more interesting, and you could also add why it is them who has to band together to bring down the anarchist.? The second-half to your logline is really intriguing aRead more

    I really like this logline. The descriptions of the two leads are very good! I think ‘begrudgingly form a bond’ could be made to sound more interesting, and you could also add why it is them who has to band together to bring down the anarchist.? The second-half to your logline is really intriguing and has the capacity for great action, drama, and comedy, and makes this a movie I really want to see.

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  3. Posted: May 20, 2019In:

    A quirky, slightly neurotic Seattle novelist becomes her own worst enemy when she falls in love with an inveterate ladies’ man.

    Anthony Nelson Logliner

    I think it would be more ironic if the protagonist was a strong "feminist" (to contrast against a presumably sexist ladies' man). And I agree with the others that as of now she lacks a clear goal. Is she trying to avoid or pursue this man, for example? Also, how does she being a novelist relate to tRead more

    I think it would be more ironic if the protagonist was a strong “feminist” (to contrast against a presumably sexist ladies’ man). And I agree with the others that as of now she lacks a clear goal. Is she trying to avoid or pursue this man, for example? Also, how does she being a novelist relate to the logline or inform us as to the nature of your story? If it’s just background information, I’d cut it, but if it plays into the story in a fundamental way (i.e. the man she’s pursuing hates books, and her goal is to write a book, to give a mediocre example), I’d make that clearer.

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