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  1. Posted: May 15, 2019In: Drama

    An opportunistic internship becomes a battle of wits between? an ambitious young man and a manipulative venture capitalist when the former learns that he’s being used as an accessory to the latter’s white collar crimes.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 16, 2019 at 9:19 pm

    When an ambitious intern discovers he's being used by his boss to commit white collar crimes, he must...Well, what must he do about it ?The logline sets up a dramatic problem, but it doesn't follow through with a? clearly defined solution the protagonist will attempt . What must he? do when he realiRead more

    When an ambitious intern discovers he’s being used by his boss to commit white collar crimes, he must…

    Well, what must he do about it ?

    The logline sets up a dramatic problem, but it doesn’t follow through with a? clearly defined solution the protagonist will attempt . What must he? do when he realizes he’s being used as an accessory?? There are a 1,001+ ways to engage in a “battle of? wits”?? Which one does he choose?? What becomes his specific action plan to accomplish a specific objective goal?

    ?Richiev’s? idea is one way to go; it all depends what you have in mind.

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  2. Posted: May 13, 2019In: Drama

    SHORT: A stickler for justice and fairness rejected by his peers must prevent a lynching when a hostage situation turns into mayhem with the crowd surrounding the kidnapper.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 14, 2019 at 8:59 am

    Seems to me that it might be more interesting if the protagonist was the first hostage taken, or the one most abused by the hijacker.? Hence, he not only must? overcome the emotional response of the others, but overcome his own? emotions in order to rescue his hijacker/persecutor.? As currently writRead more

    Seems to me that it might be more interesting if the protagonist was the first hostage taken, or the one most abused by the hijacker.? Hence, he not only must? overcome the emotional response of the others, but overcome his own? emotions in order to rescue his hijacker/persecutor.? As currently written, what’s his character arc?? He’s already on the side of the angels.

    What bruised and bleeding skin does he have in the game?

    fwiw

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  3. Posted: May 7, 2019In: Drama

    In an Australian offshore detention centre, a Syrian army medic refugee and her daughter fight for a visa to Australia despite the corrupt authorities and building tensions between the refugees.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on May 12, 2019 at 11:54 pm

    >>fight for their right to peace and safety What does peace and safety look like? On screen, it looks like getting into Australia. That?s the object goal that is the solution to lack of ?the peace and safety?. So frame a logline in terms of the specific objective goal (a visual) that solves thRead more

    >>fight for their right to peace and safety

    What does peace and safety look like? On screen, it looks like getting into Australia. That?s the object goal that is the solution to lack of ?the peace and safety?. So frame a logline in terms of the specific objective goal (a visual) that solves the general problem. In the ?Star Wars: A New Hope? the Death Star threatens peace and safety for everyone. Ergo. the objective goal: destroy the Death Star.

    >>Not sure how real it is
    I should think that veracity would be an the feature that sells the series. And what keeps the audience coming back week after week. Truth is stranger than fiction ? and more interesting.

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