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In order to say goodbye to his dying mother, an exiled gangster turned priest must finally face his past.
That's a good first half of a logline, but you stop right when things get interesting -- Tell us what he must do, what he must overcome in order to say goodbye to his mother. The stakes are clear, as is some urgency with the ticking clock of her imminent death. There's also some great irony in a ganRead more
That’s a good first half of a logline, but you stop right when things get interesting — Tell us what he must do, what he must overcome in order to say goodbye to his mother. The stakes are clear, as is some urgency with the ticking clock of her imminent death. There’s also some great irony in a gangster turned priest, we’re just missing that last element so we can accurately see this movie in our mind.
See lessWhen a prospective client invites himself to the first summer party at the law firm executive?s house, the executive must make sure the client is satisfied so he is won over while also dealing with new crises that arise in his home life.
Good rough draft rewrite by yqwertz.? There has to be something obvious at stake for the main character.
Good rough draft rewrite by yqwertz.? There has to be something obvious at stake for the main character.
See lessWhen a suave playboy’s young lover brings him home to meet her father, an old friend and rival, he begins to fall for the father’s fiancee.
It seems as if what sets the lead character into conflict is actually falling for his rivals fiance' The story would be about what your character does about it. Therefore I wouldn't bury it at the end of the logline. Or to put it another way, this logline is all set-up.
It seems as if what sets the lead character into conflict is actually falling for his rivals fiance’
The story would be about what your character does about it.
Therefore I wouldn’t bury it at the end of the logline.
Or to put it another way, this logline is all set-up.
See less