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When her mother is convicted as a paedophile, a 16-year-old girl struggles with therapy, high-school, and an overnight change in how she is seen by society as she seeks to be legally emancipated.
?An interesting premise, but... mess it up, really mess it up.? Go deeper.Have her mother make a "Mrs. Robinson" move on her boyfriend (or at least the boy she has a crush on.)And her mother is not only arrested but also pregnant.? The minor whom she seduced is the father.fwiw
?An interesting premise, but… mess it up, really mess it up.? Go deeper.
Have her mother make a “Mrs. Robinson” move on her boyfriend (or at least the boy she has a crush on.)
And her mother is not only arrested but also pregnant.? The minor whom she seduced is the father.
fwiw
See less(Revision #4) England 1963. When two teenage sisters, sibling rivals, secure a recording contract that launches their singing career, they soon discover that the Rock?n Roll lifestyle is full of seductive excesses that may destroy their dream of fame and fortune.
I think as it's written now, the fact that they're "sibling rivals" doesn't have to be in the logline.? It's also ambiguous about whether they secure a recording contract as a duet, or if they both happen to get recording contracts at the same time.? I'm assuming duet.? I think the logline should foRead more
I think as it’s written now, the fact that they’re “sibling rivals” doesn’t have to be in the logline.? It’s also ambiguous about whether they secure a recording contract as a duet, or if they both happen to get recording contracts at the same time.? I’m assuming duet.? I think the logline should focus on the rivalry, and that would probably let it more clearly describe a story.
If I were to watch a movie with the logline you wrote, I’d expect it to be pretty close to one of those movies where the band gets a recording contract, then falls apart because the lead singer starts partying too much.? The singer says, “I don’t need you guys!? I’m going off on my own!” and then eventually comes crawling back, asking for forgiveness.? I think if it’s about just two people, and they’re rivals before they even got a contract, that would be something more interesting.? If the logline convinced me that the fact that they were sibling rivals would make a difference in the story, I’d probably want to watch it.
See lessA struggling Aborginal widow is determined to make her 4 bi-racial daughters into a huge international girl band to guarantee they’ll never see poverty again.
If she is a 'stage mum', describe her as such - perhaps a failed performer in her own right. Otherwise, she comes across as silly, and the premise makes little sense.
If she is a ‘stage mum’, describe her as such – perhaps a failed performer in her own right. Otherwise, she comes across as silly, and the premise makes little sense.
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