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Two down and out cops are paired as partners to take on a cartel before the cartel spreads a powerful drug that could destroy the city or risk being fired, if they survive.
I like The Other Guys! The difference is, they start with a small case and then unravel a grand conspiracy. If that's not the point here, if it's really the two inserted into something big at the beginning, then it's a question of how to make it plausible enough. Many undercover comedies are in thisRead more
I like The Other Guys! The difference is, they start with a small case and then unravel a grand conspiracy. If that’s not the point here, if it’s really the two inserted into something big at the beginning, then it’s a question of how to make it plausible enough. Many undercover comedies are in this vein, like Miss Congeniality and 21 Jump Street. There’s by accident, like A Shot In The Dark (the first Pink Panther).? Perhaps your cops get? assigned by mistake and then…other options.? Even for a comedy, there should be something understandable to how they get in over their heads so that the reader doesn’t lose interest at that moment.
>> Two down and out cops
Describe each and more precisely since conflict is needed between them and it would nail the irony and humor.? Disgraced, demoted, desk jockey, timid, hotshot…
>> a cartel before the cartel spreads a powerful drug
A powerful, NEW drug, right? Is this set in America or in a Latin America country? Something feels off about starting with a cartel that will get bigger…perhaps the cops are the ones to discover they have a new drug. Point is, spread out the events/turns.
>> that could destroy the city
This can be cut and a description of the drug would imply it, like “Ten times more addictive than heroin.”
>> or risk being fired, if they survive.are
This will likely not be necessary in the next take on the logline because the drug and danger in battling the cartel are enough stakes. Even for a comedy and for this first logline, it’s hard to imagine that these two cops would be fired for failing such a difficult assignment.
Clarify the main antag and create a sense of what happens most of the time. As with the location, is this about the cops in an American city chasing leads to find who’s behind the drug?
See lessWhen a deceitful cult leader?s doomsday prophecy comes true, his followers refuse to believe he?s not a prophet, despite his panicked confession, forcing him to take responsibility and find refuge for them all before the asteroid strikes.
I like the premise for this but I think it's worded in a slightly confusing way. I've got to ask though... why is he forced to take responsibility? Why doesn't he just run away? He's deceitful - why not a coward too? I feel like I need more to understand his motives for sticking around. Hope this heRead more
I like the premise for this but I think it’s worded in a slightly confusing way.
I’ve got to ask though… why is he forced to take responsibility? Why doesn’t he just run away? He’s deceitful – why not a coward too? I feel like I need more to understand his motives for sticking around.
Hope this helps.
See lessA young wife seeks revenge after catching her husband cheating, and with the help of her eccentric friends, creates an online business that names and shames unfaithful men.
Thanks all for your feedback. I have written a synopsis that goes into depth about these questions, but it's more about learning how to distill it in less than 60 words. These websites already exist, but the movie is really about the protagonist gaining confidence and new friendships... The husbandRead more
Thanks all for your feedback.
I have written a synopsis that goes into depth about these questions, but it’s more about learning how to distill it in less than 60 words. These websites already exist, but the movie is really about the protagonist gaining confidence and new friendships… The husband cheated with her best friend and as a result, her entire network of those close to her is lost. Her confidence is regained with the new friends and she does find a new love interest in the end …
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