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After dropping his wedding band in a wishing well, a dissatisfied middle-aged husband discovers he can experience life if he hadn?t got married simply by removing his wedding ring, but must choose which life to lead when his ring?s power begins to fade.
You have a strong hook but not a strong inciting incident. You need a specific scene at the beginning of the story that establishes the problems in his marriage. Then introduce the hook about the Wishing well. So nice hook, but you need to establish the problem in a more compelling way.
You have a strong hook but not a strong inciting incident.
You need a specific scene at the beginning of the story that establishes the problems in his marriage.
Then introduce the hook about the Wishing well.
So nice hook, but you need to establish the problem in a more compelling way.
See lessWhen financial instability forces him to teach English to immigrants, a heartbroken, over-imaginative New Yorker must help a ragtag bunch of foreigners pass the class or risk losing what little he has left.
Agreed with all the above. Also, the stakes are unclear, or not specific. What does lose what little he has left mean in practical terms? Lose his house? His car? His mind?
Agreed with all the above.
Also, the stakes are unclear, or not specific. What does lose what little he has left mean in practical terms? Lose his house? His car? His mind?
See lessWith the Wild imagination that Chase Jones has, even he is surprised to be teaching ESL to a group of cocky, confident, sexy, funny, and all around goofy set of Immigrants who at all cost must pass the class, or risk being deported from the United States.
Richiv and Mikepedley85 Thank you both very much for your feedback! I will use that ... It has to do with financial?instability but It's not about xenophobe so I will figure out a good angle. that works into the story
Richiv and Mikepedley85 Thank you both very much for your feedback! I will use that … It has to do with financial?instability but It’s not about xenophobe so I will figure out a good angle. that works into the story
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