1. Posted: March 31, 2019In:

    Upon watching a man taking another one hostage in broad daylight, an event planner on a job interview decides to prove his skills by turning the situation into a beautiful celebration.

    dpg Singularity

    Robb Ross raise several good points.And the logline lacks a required piece of information:? what is the event planner's objective goal, what is his purpose?? Is it a? selfless scheme to rescue the victim?? Or a selfish publicity stunt, to market himself?

    Robb Ross raise several good points.

    And the logline lacks a required piece of information:? what is the event planner’s objective goal, what is his purpose?? Is it a? selfless scheme to rescue the victim?? Or a selfish publicity stunt, to market himself?

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  2. Posted: March 24, 2019In:

    Upside down in a binge, Hank Thomson loses a key that came with a cat that nobody wanted, putting his unborn child in danger; Bad luck for Hank since that cat?s key belongs to a trinity of badass’ that will kill the woman carrying his future. “So just remember, Hank!”

    Best Answer
    Richiev Singularity

    Wording is important. You say nobody wants the cat, but then say, the cat is owned by not one, but three bad guys and they trusted the cat so much they put a mysterious key on it, and now they are desperately looking for the cat and key. So the story sounds interesting. But the logline is confusingRead more

    Wording is important. You say nobody wants the cat, but then say, the cat is owned by not one, but three bad guys and they trusted the cat so much they put a mysterious key on it, and now they are desperately looking for the cat and key.

    So the story sounds interesting. But the logline is confusing and probably doesn’t do your story justice.

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  3. Posted: March 19, 2019In:

    “When he discovers his multi-million dollar trust fund is locked away behind legal red tape, a broke Nigerian Prince uses the internet in order to convince highly pessimistic Americans to help him raise the money, so his funds will be released.”—- (Practice Logline)—- Title: Trust me (Maybe-Go fund me)

    Robb Ross Samurai

    Another way this might be clarified is that he starts honest and soon sees the scam (a friend or relative does it) as his best chance at the money. It could also be his last hope after other things fail. But again, what would be the story after that? If the spoiled part remains, then the stakes of mRead more

    Another way this might be clarified is that he starts honest and soon sees the scam (a friend or relative does it) as his best chance at the money. It could also be his last hope after other things fail. But again, what would be the story after that?

    If the spoiled part remains, then the stakes of money might work if this is clarified as a wrong pursuit (where he learns near the end of the script to use the money for others and not himself).

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