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  1. Posted: June 4, 2019In: Comedy

    Two dirt poor, scrawny guys and a mighty viking fight for a golden sheep horn. Legend says, whoever blows the horn will receive great wealth from the sheep god, however the “legend” is just a made up prank.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on June 4, 2019 at 8:25 am

    >>however the ?legend? is just a made up prank.If this is the final payoff of the premise then it's a spoiler.? A logline should never give away a 3rd? Act Reveal or how the story ends.On the other hand, if it's an MPR (Midpoint Reveal) what becomes the objective goal that drives the rest of tRead more

    >>however the ?legend? is just a made up prank.

    If this is the final payoff of the premise then it’s a spoiler.? A logline should never give away a 3rd? Act Reveal or how the story ends.

    On the other hand, if it’s an MPR (Midpoint Reveal) what becomes the objective goal that drives the rest of the story after they realize they’ve been pranked?

    Which is it?? What is the story really about?

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  2. Posted: April 28, 2019In: Comedy

    When his gay cruise ship is invaded by terrorists, a veteran turned drag queen must use his skills to take down the thugs and save the day.

    Tjmohr Logliner
    Added an answer on June 4, 2019 at 7:29 am

    Agree with the above comment, the terroists goal, why did they invade the ship? Is due to it being a gay ship or does it to for them to gain money somehow or?

    Agree with the above comment, the terroists goal, why did they invade the ship? Is due to it being a gay ship or does it to for them to gain money somehow or?

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  3. Posted: April 8, 2018In: Comedy

    Edited: When an seasoned womanizer transforms his female best friend from a clinger to a player and finds himself attracted to his new creation, but realizes the repercussions of his teachings is worst than he imagined. Don’t know if this one is better than my previous attempt.

    henb Samurai
    Added an answer on June 2, 2019 at 9:02 pm

    I would try to shorten the first half of your logline, and use the space to expand on 'but realizes the repercussions of his teachings is worst (worse) than he imagined.' I would change your logline to something more like this: A seasoned womanizer transforms his female friend from clingy to player.Read more

    I would try to shorten the first half of your logline, and use the space to expand on ‘but realizes the repercussions of his teachings is worst (worse) than he imagined.’

    I would change your logline to something more like this: A seasoned womanizer transforms his female friend from clingy to player. He becomes attracted to his creation, who is now too suave and sophisticated for the likes of him.

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