1. Posted: June 14, 2019In:

    When a taser-slinging HOA president threatens to harm her pooch, a mom stages a coup to take him down ? during the neighborhood?s ladies-only Bunco Night. (25 words)

    dpg Singularity

    Agree with mikepedley85 that the tasering could be the tipping point provocation, the one that triggers the woman to plot a coup .? And it's the culmination of a series of offenses inflicted by the HOA honcho on others, not just the antagonist.? That is necessary in order to motivate others to becomRead more

    Agree with mikepedley85 that the tasering could be the tipping point provocation, the one that triggers the woman to plot a coup .? And it’s the culmination of a series of offenses inflicted by the HOA honcho on others, not just the antagonist.? That is necessary in order to motivate others to become co-conspirators.

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  2. Posted: June 12, 2019In:

    A group therapy each of them for a different self control problem decide to take revenge after hearing the new member story.

    Best Answer
    Mike Pedley Singularity

    This doesn't read properly. I'm confused as to what the story is actually about. Check out the "Our formula" tab for help with formatting.My questions that I have currently:Who's the protagonist?Who is getting revenge against who and how?How is this a comedy?Once this logline is in a more conventionRead more

    This doesn’t read properly. I’m confused as to what the story is actually about. Check out the “Our formula” tab for help with formatting.

    My questions that I have currently:

      1. Who’s the protagonist?
      2. Who is getting revenge against who and how?
      3. How is this a comedy?

    Once this logline is in a more conventional format, and at the very least provides answers to 1 & 2 above, it will be easier to offer more feedback.

    Fwiw, I do like what I think is the idea behind this. I need more information to understand it better though.

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  3. Posted: June 4, 2019In:

    When a shortage of decent male actors threatens to shut down the high school senior musical, a reserved teenager is coerced into being the romantic lead of her rival but she has more than acting on her mind as she finds herself falling for her costar.

    dpg Singularity

    >>. Drama teacher sees lead actress arguing with another girl and sees the chemistry that she wants in her two leads. Two girls have a fairly antagonistic relationship since the one girl wrote a bad review about a play the actress was in in the school newspaper, hence the rivals. So the teacheRead more

    >>. Drama teacher sees lead actress arguing with another girl and sees the chemistry that she wants in her two leads. Two girls have a fairly antagonistic relationship since the one girl wrote a bad review about a play the actress was in in the school newspaper, hence the rivals. So the teacher and lead actress convince the other girl to take the part and the two girls fall in love.

    Okay, thanks for the clarification.? So how is that supposed to work out practically?? One of them plays dressed and made up as a guy, right?

    I suggest it might make for a? stronger character if the protagonist volunteers to play the guy role.? ?The incentive? is professional as well as personal;? it’s a greater dramatic challenge, one that will look good on her acting resume. (Played Stanley Kowalski in ‘A Streetcar Named Desire.’ )

    So the teacher is the one who has be persuaded.? The protagonist auditions and the teacher is persuaded. She gets the role.

    Comedy and complications ensue.

    ?

    fww

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