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  1. Posted: August 23, 2019In: Comedy

    After discovering her utopian town is the result of a government experiment, a tenacious teenage girl must reverse the symbiosis before it becomes permanent, or risk a fate worse than repressive governmental overreach: being just like everyone else.

    yqwertz Mentor
    Added an answer on August 23, 2019 at 6:04 pm

    As the others have pointed out, this is a good idea, but the wording is a bit obtuse, and by that I mean not just the word "symbiosis", but also "repressive government overreach" and "just like everyone else". What experiment is the government conducting and how does it keep the people from leaving?Read more

    As the others have pointed out, this is a good idea, but the wording is a bit obtuse, and by that I mean not just the word “symbiosis”, but also “repressive government overreach” and “just like everyone else”.

    What experiment is the government conducting and how does it keep the people from leaving? Or is it just the girl who is being deceived and not the entire town?

    One of the teenagers in “American Beauty” is afraid of being like everyone else, but her chosen path to escape the fate of the common man turns out to be a dead end. What is so ominous about being just like everyone else?

    You placed the logline under “Comedy”, but I don’t see the comedic elements.

     

     

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  2. Posted: August 20, 2019In: Comedy

    A young man wakes up in an alternate 2016 where the United Kingdom voted to remain in the European Union.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on August 21, 2019 at 9:56 pm

    As the others have said.? And what's the funny?? What is the running joke?? And what are his stakes in the situation?? Was he rabid opponent or supporter of Brexit?

    As the others have said.? And what’s the funny?? What is the running joke?? And what are his stakes in the situation?? Was he rabid opponent or supporter of Brexit?

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  3. Posted: August 17, 2019In: Comedy

    A failed actor awakens from a six-day coma following a car accident believing he is Hollywood star Matthew McConnaughey. Despite widespread confusion from his family and friends, he attempts to rejuvenate his movie career.

    giannisggeorgiou Samurai
    Added an answer on August 20, 2019 at 8:24 pm

    "When a short coma leaves him with the illusion he is a successful movie star, a struggling actor must..." Must what? The second sentence is just vague. As Richiev says, no specific goal or conflict, esp. one that ties well with his illusion of being Matthew M.

    “When a short coma leaves him with the illusion he is a successful movie star, a struggling actor must…”

    Must what? The second sentence is just vague. As Richiev says, no specific goal or conflict, esp. one that ties well with his illusion of being Matthew M.

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