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  1. Posted: March 23, 2016In: Comedy

    The Jewish Director – A struggling director pretends he’s Jewish thinking it will help him break into the biz.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 23, 2016 at 10:14 pm

    I agree with FFF that the story needs to indicate the source of conflict.? What is the specific incident or problem that incited him try such a desperate measure and what dramatic problem does his trying to pass as Jewish create?? (And obviously trying to pass is a false ?solution.? It seemingly solRead more

    I agree with FFF that the story needs to indicate the source of conflict.? What is the specific incident or problem that incited him try such a desperate measure and what dramatic problem does his trying to pass as Jewish create?? (And obviously trying to pass is a false ?solution.? It seemingly solves ?one problem? only to?creates others that are?even worse.)

    Also, if you’re not Jewish ?yourself, I suggest you?tread carefully, do your research.? Hollywood is?heavily populated?by Jews and they are not amused by Gentiles, ?goyim, ?who depict? them through stereotypes and parody.? Just saying.

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  2. Posted: March 23, 2016In: Comedy

    Zen O’Clock (Pilot) – An office lackey buys an alarm clock possessed with the soul of a world renowned self-help guru and takes advice from it on how to improve his daily life.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 23, 2016 at 10:03 pm

    As FFF said.? A story is not about the solution, it's about a problem in need of a solution.? And any solution the protagonist comes up with so early in the story is a false solution.? Even more so when it comes so cheaply, when it is unearned;? all he had to do was unwittingly by a used clock. ExacRead more

    As FFF said.? A story is not about the solution, it’s about a problem in need of a solution.? And any solution the protagonist comes up with so early in the story is a false solution.? Even more so when it comes so cheaply, when it is unearned;? all he had to do was unwittingly by a used clock.

    Exactly how does he need to “improve”?his life?? Even if it’s a comedy, he must be in desperate? need of advice to struggle with major life issues that threaten his life, liberty and pursuit of happiness.? And the advice the? Zen O’clock gives must be exactly what he doesn’t want to do, what he doesn’t think he can do.

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  3. Posted: March 21, 2016In: Comedy

    When a nerdy Greek scholarship holder fall in love with his popstar fellow student, the young relationship goes through tough times as she is living in a celebrity bubble always busy when he needs her presence.

    FFF Mentor
    Added an answer on March 22, 2016 at 8:02 pm

    College? High School? I like the idea of a nerdy greek and a popstar togheter but I can't see a plot here. I make 2 suggestions: 1) figure out why exacly the greek NEED the support of his girlfriend. 2) figure out what is the main specific problem of their relationship. So, the nerdy greek will haveRead more

    College? High School?
    I like the idea of a nerdy greek and a popstar togheter but I can’t see a plot here. I make 2 suggestions: 1) figure out why exacly the greek NEED the support of his girlfriend. 2) figure out what is the main specific problem of their relationship.
    So, the nerdy greek will have a clear goal and a clear obstacle to overcome. And that will be a story.

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