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  1. Posted: April 9, 2016In: Comedy

    When an entire town gets a virus from the trial of a brain-activated smart phone, a self-righteous hippy must stop the company and shut down the trial.

    Best Answer
    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on April 12, 2016 at 10:18 pm

    I agree with Sumi that there's a potential for a lot of comedy if the premise is reverse engineering? "virus" such ?that the smart phone is literally infecting people with a virus.? (Although, I suggest that the culprit?be a? popular,? seductive ?smart phone app rather than a defective OS).? But thaRead more

    I agree with Sumi that there’s a potential for a lot of comedy if the premise is reverse engineering? “virus” such ?that the smart phone is literally infecting people with a virus.? (Although, I suggest that the culprit?be a? popular,? seductive ?smart phone app rather than a defective OS).? But that needs to be stated with greater clarity.

    And I think his other questions are pertinent.? And what does the hippy being self-righteous as a character flaw bring to the dramatic problem of the virus infection?? The character flaw should be?relevant?to the dramatic problem such that until the flaw is recognized and overcome, the character cannot solve the dramatic problem.? That’s the dramatic purpose of a character flaw , to create suspense,?doubt and uncertainty that the character can succeed.?How does being self-righteous make the hippy unable to cure the viral infection?

    To repeat, I think the premise is a rough gem that needs a polish.

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  2. Posted: April 9, 2016In: Comedy

    When a Jewish underpants manufacturer suddenly dies, his clumsy, mechanic son must fight off a stupid Mafia loan-shark, until he can convince the inventive transvestite manager to relinquish control.

    FFF Mentor
    Added an answer on April 9, 2016 at 7:33 pm

    Hello, I don't get the relation between the parts... jewish, underpants, mafia, transvestites... theese are colorful details but I can't see a pattern, a structure, a solid story.

    Hello,
    I don’t get the relation between the parts… jewish, underpants, mafia, transvestites… theese are colorful details but I can’t see a pattern, a structure, a solid story.

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  3. Posted: March 28, 2016In: Comedy

    When a nerdy Greek scholarship holder fall in love with his popstar fellow student, they face a long-distance relationship as she is on world tour always traveling and he threatens to lose his top-mark college grant due to lovesickness.

    FFF Mentor
    Added an answer on March 29, 2016 at 8:33 pm

    Hello, I remember old versions of this... I think you still spread the interest on too many events - my personal opinion is that you have to pick the one inciting event, the one problem, the one goal. Focus on a single storyline. This movie can't start with a young greak dreaming to be accepted in aRead more

    Hello, I remember old versions of this… I think you still spread the interest on too many events – my personal opinion is that you have to pick the one inciting event, the one problem, the one goal. Focus on a single storyline. This movie can’t start with a young greak dreaming to be accepted in an american college, winning the grant,?winning the?love of a popstar, facing lovesickness… this could work in a book, maybe.

    For exemple,

    When his popstar grilfriend leaves for?a world tour, a neardy geek must beat?his lovesickness to keep his college grant.

    But there are still many problems, because how can a fight against lovesickness be filmed? What we will see in the movie? And the genre should be clear, is it a love drama or a comedy?

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