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A struggling novelist on a deadline takes a job as a obituary writer while he gets over his ex-wife and the deaths he writes about expose truths in his own life.
Have to agree with Nir Shelter here: I don't see the story. What is the conflict? What is the "hook"? Is it essential that he gets over his ex-wife? Why should anyone care that he exposes truths about his own life? If it's comedy, doesn't sound like much fun to me right now - actually, the first timRead more
Have to agree with Nir Shelter here: I don’t see the story. What is the conflict? What is the “hook”? Is it essential that he gets over his ex-wife? Why should anyone care that he exposes truths about his own life? If it’s comedy, doesn’t sound like much fun to me right now – actually, the first time I read it I thought “hm, another drama”. Can you extract why your story is hilarious and put that into the logline?
See lessWhen an Animal Talent Agency has only 48 hours to find the right talent for a psychotic client or face demise, a flamboyant receptionist obsessed with making his dog a star sees an opportunity. He ?just? has to convince the mid divorce agent, win the client?s heart and train his pooch to overcome stage fright.
I've moved the problem to front - difficult movie star needs a dog. Then moved the hero's plan next. Then added the conflicts and time constraint. Also, this might just be me, but I tend to remove descriptive words that don't carry the story, like mid divorce agent - even if the boss being middle-agRead more
I’ve moved the problem to front – difficult movie star needs a dog. Then moved the hero’s plan next. Then added the conflicts and time constraint. Also, this might just be me, but I tend to remove descriptive words that don’t carry the story, like mid divorce agent – even if the boss being middle-aged and?divorced is a primary conflict for the hero, I still don’t think it’s strong enough reason to add in a logline. Last, I assume you mean gay when you say flamboyant which gay imho makes for a cleaner line.
When a difficult movie star needs a dog for a movie, the animal talent agency?s gay receptionist sees his chance to get his pooch into pictures, but he only has two days to convince his boss, win over the movie star, and train his shy pooch.
See lessA drunken priest joins forces with a theater director to create a new religion, pushing his successful Church Of Bingo into battle with all denominations for disciples.
Because it's a comedy, ?I am more willing to suspend disbelief on how the story is set up. My primary question is: ?so what? ?What's at stake? ?What is the story trying to show, to say about religion that ?would make it worthwhile for me to invest some of my precious time and limited money in watchiRead more
Because it’s a comedy, ?I am more willing to suspend disbelief on how the story is set up.
My primary question is: ?so what? ?What’s at stake? ?What is the story trying to show, to say about religion that ?would make it worthwhile for me to invest some of my precious time and limited money in watching this movie? What’s the dramatic point? ?What theme are you ?trying explore that I might find amusing, if not enlightening?
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