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  1. Posted: May 16, 2016In: Comedy

    Afraid of losing his cushy corporate job, a slacker concocts a story about a fake ex-fianc? who left him at the altar but when he falls for a girl with the same name, he must keep her a secret to keep his job.

    FFF Mentor
    Added an answer on May 16, 2016 at 6:05 pm

    Can't he just say "I met a girl with the same name"? Maybe he can fake a depression (caused by?the said?being left on the altar), so he will need to hide the joy of his couple or being fired. The structure make me think about the movie "Le Placard" de?Francis Veber, where the main character learns tRead more

    Can’t he just say “I met a girl with the same name”?

    Maybe he can fake a depression (caused by?the said?being left on the altar), so he will need to hide the joy of his couple or being fired.

    The structure make me think about the movie “Le Placard” de?Francis Veber, where the main character learns that he’s about to be fired, but a friend tells him that he won’t be fired if he’s gay because the company needs to avoid criticism about being homophobic (they sells condoms).
    So he must?do his “coming out” (but he’s not gay!) and he falls in love with a female collegue so he needs to hide it. Wow, this was truly a good concept for a comedy.

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  2. Posted: May 13, 2016In: Comedy

    (Short Film) After being extremely ridiculed for how he talked as a kid, a hermit young teen must overcome his irrational fear of speaking to others in order ask a girl out to the dance before his best friend betrays him by beating him to the chase.

    Neer Shelter Singularity
    Added an answer on May 13, 2016 at 1:33 pm

    I'm not sure this is a story for the screen, for the page maybe but as it is now it sounds entirely un cinematic. What does ?"...overcome his irrational fear of speaking..." look like? How is this a cinematic action for the screen? In addition I think the idea of a shy boy needing to overcome his feRead more

    I’m not sure this is a story for the screen, for the page maybe but as it is now it sounds entirely un cinematic.

    What does ?”…overcome his irrational fear of speaking…” look like? How is this a cinematic action for the screen?

    In addition I think the idea of a shy boy needing to overcome his fear of talking to girls is rather mundane, it’s very common amongst boys.

    Lastly what are the stakes? To miss out on a date with this girl? well that is pretty much a normal event in a young man’s life. It’s through many of these that most men learn to overcome their fear, but these lessons are completely internal and subjective – they don’t make for good cinematic stories.

    I think best if you devise a plot that will ether be ?metaphor for the transformation in this story or draws a clear analogy to similar?events that so many have experienced in real life.

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  3. Posted: May 4, 2016In: Comedy

    When he is laid off from his dream job, Joe is surprised to find his major emotion is happiness, so he reviews how he got here to understand why.

    CraigDGriffiths Uberwriter
    Added an answer on May 6, 2016 at 1:17 pm

    Watch "LOST IN AMERICA" (1985). ?It is about two high paid exec that sell their house and decide to take the money and move to somewhere... they don't know where, just out of the rat race. Watch that and write a logline for it. ?You'll see that there is an incident that triggers their decision and iRead more

    Watch “LOST IN AMERICA” (1985). ?It is about two high paid exec that sell their house and decide to take the money and move to somewhere… they don’t know where, just out of the rat race.

    Watch that and write a logline for it. ?You’ll see that there is an incident that triggers their decision and is fuelled by the thought of freedom.

    So what does Joe do? ?Write a list? – bit of a boring story. ?Visit friends? – so how does that look.

    You understand. ?Look at the events and challenges her will face. ?Plus Joe may be better as “a man in his forties” or “a workaholic man” , Joe gives us no insight.

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