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Celebrity hairdresser was falsely accused for kidnapping a secret son of the mayor of New York and he has to deliver him to a real kidnappers to save the life of his mother because of her large gambling debt.
Hello, I think you have some good elements in you story but in my opinion you didn't selected them properly and built the logline with the elements in the ?proper order. The goal appears to be saving the main character's mother. So, the inciting incident should be something like the mother being menRead more
Hello,
I think you have some good elements in you story but in my opinion you didn’t selected them properly and built the logline with the elements in the ?proper order.
The goal appears to be saving the main character’s mother. So, the inciting incident should be something like the mother being menaced by the mob.
Or, the goal is to prove his innoncence and the inciting incident the accusation of kinapping the son. The mother’s debt could be just a B story that doesn’t need to be mentioned in the logline.
Chose your spine and write the logline on it.
See lessWhen Katy?s writing career is at it?s last straw, she goes to China and dates a local as inspiration for her book, only to discover her relationship is part of a reality TV show.
The problem with this logline is, it has to be read a couple of times to understand the irony. 1: A down on her luck writer moves to China to find inspiration for her book (Presumably about interracial relationships) 2: She finds some unsuspecting patsy and pretends to date him while actually just uRead more
The problem with this logline is, it has to be read a couple of times to understand the irony.
1: A down on her luck writer moves to China to find inspiration for her book (Presumably about interracial relationships)
2: She finds some unsuspecting patsy and pretends to date him while actually just using him.
3: She slowly falls in love.
4: Only to discover she was the patsy all along, because he was using her as part of some reality tv show.
5: And if it’s in the form of romantic comedy, both will have fallen in love for real and both will discover the other’s deception just when the are about to declare their love for one another.
The only real question is, how much will the audience know? Is the audience in on the deception or is it a big reveal? (Because that will affect how the logline is written)
See lessAbandoned by his wife and depressed, a British middle aged man relocates to Bangkok; after finding work as a teacher, his depression quickly turns into hilarity.
>>>his depression quickly turns into hilarity.Dramatic problem solved! End of story, end of series!There needs to be something about starting over in ?Bangkok that??is a continual font of weekly woe for the protagonist. ?As every good comic knows, comedy comes from pain and conflict. ComedyRead more
>>>his depression quickly turns into hilarity.
Dramatic problem solved! End of story, end of series!
There needs to be something about starting over in ?Bangkok that??is a continual font of weekly woe for the protagonist. ?As every good comic knows, comedy comes from pain and conflict. Comedy is just tragedy with a punch line. ?The generic comedy scenario that would seem appropriate is the fish-out-of-water.
Within that scenario the protagonist needs to be acting out a?defining ?flaw, a weakness a blind spot ?that keeps getting him in trouble (and generating laughs) episode after episode. ?What is his defining character flaw? ?Is he a compulsive womanizer (that’s why his wife dumped him?), an obsessive-compulsive neurotic, a lovable loser?
See less