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Chad Tully, a college dropout turn travel agent living in Manhattan, receives news that his family’s property in the Outback of Australia is facing foreclosure. So, when Jerry Hampton, an ageing reality TV star comes in to plan a vacation, Chad books him into his family’s dilapidated property, passing it off as a five-star resort, hoping he will invest, saving the property.
Agreed with the above, it isn't great that he'll lose the family home, but if he does, as an audience, we kinda say "So what?" As mentioned he needs stakes he can't just lose it, he has lose everything if he does, what is on the line if he loses the house? His life, his attachment to his family, theRead more
Agreed with the above, it isn’t great that he’ll lose the family home, but if he does, as an audience, we kinda say “So what?” As mentioned he needs stakes he can’t just lose it, he has lose everything if he does, what is on the line if he loses the house? His life, his attachment to his family, the one connection to his parents or maybe he borrowed money from the mob to do it up, but gambled it away and now they want it back.
Maybe his parents are alive and on a years holiday, in that time the house has become a ruin and now his parents are coming home, so he needs a plan and quick… Get a long term renter to stay etc.
That last bit also gives you a ticking clock, which is always a bonus in a logline.
Anyways, the parts are there I can see a beginning, middle and end etc, it is wordy and lacks stakes, so overall good effort.
See less“When her drink is spiked at a party a virgin finds herself pregnant and a seminary student is the father. Together they must go through hell to find a piece of heaven.”
This logline suggest a one plot beat.? What about the plot leading to an end? Using dpg's elements, revise your current logline and post again.
This logline suggest a one plot beat.? What about the plot leading to an end? Using dpg’s elements, revise your current logline and post again.
See lessIts Christmas reunion for the decaying rich Moreira family. When the family patriarch, who has Alzheimer, says out of the blue that he has a expensive painting hidden, the family’s moral will be tested to its limits.
>>>the family?s moral will be tested to its limits. Specifically, tested how? ?The logline sets up an interesting story, but it needs to follow through with a clearer statement of the action that follows as a result of the patriarch's startling statement. ?I'm guessing that it triggers a seRead more
>>>the family?s moral will be tested to its limits.
Specifically, tested how? ?The logline sets up an interesting story, but it needs to follow through with a clearer statement of the action that follows as a result of the patriarch’s startling statement. ?I’m guessing that it triggers a search to find it — the objective goal. ?And it should also mention the resulting conflict it creates as the family argue over how to divide the money.
Finally, the logline needs to be tightened up. ?The ideal length to aim for is 25 words. ?You might want to check out the ?”Training” option at the top of the web page for guidelines on how to build a succinct, industry acceptable logline.
The?concept is a fertile field for comedy. ?Best wishes harvesting the laughs.
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