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when he meets the girl of his dreams, be spite being with someone else, the monophobic Henric must decide if he wants the girl, or if he wants to stay with his girlfriend, at the same time as learning to sing so he can propose to his girlfriend, and the one teaching him is his girl of his dreams
As Nir Shelter said. ?At 59 words in length this logline is too long and too confusing to figure out. ?A logline needs to be ?concise statement ?that clearly informs a reader what the story is about. Further, a plot is not about having to make this or that decision -- two hours of ?a protagonist vacRead more
As Nir Shelter said. ?At 59 words in length this logline is too long and too confusing to figure out. ?A logline needs to be ?concise statement ?that clearly informs a reader what the story is about.
Further, a plot is not about having to make this or that decision — two hours of ?a protagonist vacillating with indecision ? A plot is about a protagonist who as a result of an inciting incident makes a decision to pursue a specific objective goal, and how that pursuit plays out, right or wrong, for better or worse.
See lessWith the news of Trump presidency, many families set out to emigrate. Attempting to leave the coasts, they discover something they had never thought possible – a wall to keep them in!
After being publicly ridiculed by the President of the United States, a vain businessman gets the last laugh by succeeding him in the White House. (25 words)The real life drama has got it all: ?inciting incident, protagonist versus antagonist, character flaw, objective goal, personal and global stakRead more
After being publicly ridiculed by the President of the United States, a vain businessman gets the last laugh by succeeding him in the White House.
(25 words)
The real life drama has got it all: ?inciting incident, protagonist versus antagonist, character flaw, objective goal, personal and global stakes. ?And if you had pitched this 2 years ago, the concept would have been DOA. ?But now it’s only a matter of time before it becomes a bio-pic.
And btw, that’s an historically plausible inciting incident for the plot. Check out clips on YouTube of Obama ridiculing Trump at the 2011 White House Correspondents’ Dinner.
See lessA deranged lonely programmer must run away from a sadistic motorbiker, as he kills his cheating girlfriend after consulting his multiple topsy-turvy personalities.
The MC is deranged, lonely, a programmer, a killer and has dissociative identity disorder - WOW! You've certainly crammed a lot in. I suggest you simplify the MC's description down to the absolute necessary. What is it that will make his task harder? What is his flaw that he will overcome during theRead more
The MC is deranged, lonely, a programmer, a killer and has dissociative identity disorder – WOW! You’ve certainly crammed a lot in.
I suggest you simplify the MC’s description down to the absolute necessary. What is it that will make his task harder? What is his flaw that he will overcome during the story?
Killing someone for cheating is too harsh, and will make it very hard for the audience, despite the black comedy aspect, to empathise with the MC. Is it necessary for him to kill her? Or can this simply be dropped?
Lastly, stories are best framed within a finite amount of time – you need to clearly define the starting point and end of your story in a logline. What is it he MUST achieve and what motivates him? In other words, what is the inciting incident and goal? How long must he run away for? A week? A year? A decade? And why does the bad guy start chasing him?
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