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  1. Posted: February 3, 2017In: Comedy

    A college grad stuck in a dead-end job impersonates a tech ?it girl? in order to get hired at NYC?s hottest startup, but when the company is secretly in danger of folding without a game-changing new product, she learns she has more to offer as herself than she knew.

    SarahBrooklyn1987 Penpusher
    Added an answer on February 3, 2017 at 6:58 pm

    Another edit based on your notes - thank you! Let me know what you think:When a twenty-something, desperate for her real life to begin, lies her way into a job at NYC?s hottest startup, she must prove she belongs there by saving the company before a jealous co-worker unravels her lies and blacklistsRead more

    Another edit based on your notes – thank you! Let me know what you think:

    When a twenty-something, desperate for her real life to begin, lies her way into a job at NYC?s hottest startup, she must prove she belongs there by saving the company before a jealous co-worker unravels her lies and blacklists her from Silicon Valley.

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  2. Posted: February 1, 2017In: Comedy

    ?When the mellow, aging owner of a medicinal marijuana dispensary leaves his wayward son in charge of the shop, on the very day cops and criminals turn the place into a madhouse, will he side with the man who has acted like his father, or his actual blood?? ? POT SHOP by Judah Ray ?

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on February 3, 2017 at 2:38 am

    "Cops and criminals" -- that's a dead-in-the-water phrase that says nothing about the ACTION, the inciting incident that triggers the resulting plot. What do the cops and criminals DO that kicks off the plot?>>To work for his father.That may be his initial goal, but after the cops and criminalRead more

    “Cops and criminals” — that’s a dead-in-the-water phrase that says nothing about the ACTION, the inciting incident that triggers the resulting plot. What do the cops and criminals DO that kicks off the plot?

    >>To work for his father.

    That may be his initial goal, but after the cops and criminals do whatever they do, he must surely acquire another goal, an urgent one that becomes the backbone for the plot. ?What MUST he do when the cops and criminals do whatever they do?

    >>the shop
    That’s all? Shouldn’t the stakes escalate after the inciting incident?

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  3. Posted: June 24, 2016In: Comedy

    “When he discovers his father will be fired as coach if he doesn’t bring home a championship, a popular quarterback must rally his good looking and talented team to beat the scruffy, overachieving, underdogs that, every year seem to defeat them in the final game.” -Overdogs-

    Judah Ray Logliner
    Added an answer on February 1, 2017 at 10:09 am

    Sounds like a good inciting incident and a fun romp. This could play out well as a feature film.

    Sounds like a good inciting incident and a fun romp. This could play out well as a feature film.

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