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  1. Posted: March 29, 2017In: Comedy

    FARTACUS – An NC-17 bawdy adventure set in Ancient Rome: When a lowly slave is mistaken for aristocratic progeny he has one chance to outwits rivals, seduces virgin nobles, and cons the Gods on his improbable road to becoming Caesar.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on March 30, 2017 at 3:35 am

    Being that this is to be NC-17, I think Spurtacus would be a more adult movie title.

    Being that this is to be NC-17, I think Spurtacus would be a more adult movie title.

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  2. Posted: March 29, 2017In: Comedy

    THE EGG AND I- A blindly driven 40-year-old woman is told she’s too old to have a baby but may have a shot if she finds sperm in a week, she finds a fortuitous donor, while her ex-bestie manipulates him, attempting to block her from finding unexpected love and one good egg.

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    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 29, 2017 at 12:47 pm

    Let me see if I can parse this:>>is told she?s too old to have a babySays who? ?Her hair dresser? ?Her office co-workers? ?A her gynecologist, after an examination?>>>may have a shot This seems to contradict the previous statement because if she were ?too old, ?she would not even haveRead more

    Let me see if I can parse this:

    >>is told she?s too old to have a baby
    Says who? ?Her hair dresser? ?Her office co-workers? ?A her gynecologist, after an examination?

    >>>may have a shot
    This seems to contradict the previous statement because if she were ?too old, ?she would not even have a shot.

    >>>if she finds sperm in a week
    I know there’s an optimal window each month in the menstrual cycle ?– but if she misses the window of opportunity next week, can’t she try again next month? ?IOW; I don’t find “next week or never” to be credible.

    >>>she finds a fortuitous donor
    That was fast

    Too fast. ?Nothing should be quick and easy for the main character, particularly in finding the sin qua non, the right man to make her pregnant.

    What if her dramatic dilemma is that she urgently feels the biological clock ticking down ?– but she also wants a donor who ?matches her impossibly high standards for a sire? ?

    I mean, why is she still single? What is the real character flaw that got her into this predicament?

    >>>while her ex-bestie manipulates him,
    A mid-point complication for the plot, but in any event extraneous for the purpose of a logline. ? Why? Because you’ve only got 25-30 words ideally, 40 words absolute max — your version is 48 — to ?lay out the key elements in the plot. (As enumerated under “Formula” at the top of the web page). There’s no ?spare space to squeeze in midpoint ?complications or shocking 3rd Act reveals.

    fwiw

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  3. Posted: March 28, 2017In: Comedy

    POOL PARTY – When the humiliating pranking of an overweight loser during a high school pep rally goes viral, he decides to face his insecurities and his bullies in 3 months at the annual summer pool party hosted by the most popular girl in school.

    dpg Singularity
    Added an answer on March 29, 2017 at 10:08 am

    >>>we are lead to believe that in the film his greatest antagonist is the leader of the bullies.Then reconfigure the logline accordingly>>he realizes his fatal flaw is his inability to take a chance (for fear of failiure.Okay, but that's a subjective problem to work out in the courseRead more

    >>>we are lead to believe that in the film his greatest antagonist is the leader of the bullies.

    Then reconfigure the logline accordingly

    >>he realizes his fatal flaw is his inability to take a chance (for fear of failiure.

    Okay, but that’s a subjective problem to work out in the course of struggling for a specific objective goal. It is not an aspect of the story to feature in a logline.

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