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  1. Posted: March 25, 2017In: Comedy

    Halo Effect -Can a bookish FBI agent catch a mobster after repulsive prison food turns him from a funny fat man to a charismatic mob boss and motivational guru. Or will his face prove too irresistible?

    Dkpough1 Uberwriter
    Added an answer on March 26, 2017 at 9:37 am

    "Can a bookish FBI agent catch a mobster after repulsive prison food turns him from a funny fat man to a charismatic mob boss and motivational guru. Or will his face prove too irresistible?" A logline should not be the dramatic question of a story. It should be a sentence that raises that question.Read more

    “Can a bookish FBI agent catch a mobster after repulsive prison food turns him from a funny fat man to a charismatic mob boss and motivational guru. Or will his face prove too irresistible?”

    A logline should not be the dramatic question of a story. It should be a sentence that raises that question. What does this mobster do which prompts the agent to catch him? After he’s gone through his transformation, you don’t describe anything the FBI should be spending their time on.

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  2. Posted: March 25, 2017In: Comedy

    action,comedy about incurious uber driver tries to save his life and his car after picking up a young incompetent terrorist wanted to explode a bomb in a central court.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on March 25, 2017 at 9:47 am

    In this logline attempt you have given us the situation, but you have left out what the driver must do. "When his ride share client turns out to be a terrorist, an Uber driver has sixty minutes to..." (Then tell us what he must do)

    In this logline attempt you have given us the situation, but you have left out what the driver must do.

    “When his ride share client turns out to be a terrorist, an Uber driver has sixty minutes to…” (Then tell us what he must do)

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  3. Posted: March 22, 2017In: Comedy

    A quirky musician tries everything to finally make the first move to his best friend. And it?s not what you think.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on March 23, 2017 at 5:08 am

    There was a wonderful movie "Can't hardly wait" where the lead character spends the entire movie at a party attempting to tell the girl of his dreams he is in love with her. Every time he tries he is interrupted or something happens to stop him.My guess is your movie would be the gay version of thatRead more

    There was a wonderful movie “Can’t hardly wait” where the lead character spends the entire movie at a party attempting to tell the girl of his dreams he is in love with her. Every time he tries he is interrupted or something happens to stop him.

    My guess is your movie would be the gay version of that, How about this for an attempt: (Obviously yours will be different)
    —–
    “When he realizes he’s in love with his best friend, a closeted guitar player vows to tell the straight singer of his band how he feels before the tour ends, but must get past the lead singers controlling, gold digging girlfriend.”
    —–
    Hope that helped

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