youngswriter1547

Penpusher · 1 points

299 points to Logliner

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Right before Christmas, a successful young Hollywood agent is fired from his job. Shame filled and arrogant, he is forced to spend the holiday with his family in New York City where he meets Melissa, a kind and beautiful young woman who unexpectedly pulls him out of his funk, helps him move on from his old job, and becomes the greatest Christmas miracle of the season.

August 27, 2020

on 17 year old twin, Deighton Young needs to negotiate his last year of school while grieving for his recently drowned brother. Dropping out of school due to grief he is forced by his father to work for white collar criminal Harry Mackay, in doing so he uncovers unethical business practice leading back to resolving a multi-generational mystery surrounding the disappearance of Lani Drum 40 years earlier.

It seems a little too wordy. You could change it to something like: 17-year-old, Deighton Young drops out of school and forced to work for white-collar criminal Harry Mackay. He uncovers sketchy things related to the Lani Drum disappearance and…