Guy Man

Recent reviews

• on A retired cavalry soldier is forced to partner with a Cheyenne Indian to track down a serial killer who has kidnaped his daughter.

  Maybe play up the idea that he's traumatized by something that the Native Americans did to him during the war so it contrasts with the idea that he has to team up with a Cheyenne Indian to save his daughter.…

• on After a childhood of abuse, a young woman decides to write a memoir to help her heal.

  It only takes one scene to show someone writing a memoir. If you start writing the script with this logline, you'll run out of story 3 pages in. You need a premise that can yield a bunch of unique scenes…

• on When his former lover is killed, an immortal cowboy rises from the dead teams up with a teenage girl to kill those are responsible.

  If the protagonist is immortal, wouldn't it defuse the tension from the action scenes?

• on Faced with bankruptcy, a down-on-luck man goes through a spine-chilling experience to get money to pay for his son’s emergency operation.

  What's the spine chilling experience that the father must go through? Rob a bank? Participate in a reality show where he's hunted by rich people for sport? Win an underground street fighting competition where he'll have to fight other men…

• on When a young woman returns to her family for the burial of her brother, her doubtful past will envenom the reunion and reveal her true intentions.

  Give the character a better adjective. Young is value neutral and doesn't tell us much about the character. If she's going to be revealed as some sort of sinister or vengeful person, then using adjectives like naive or idealistic would…

• on A forsaken young man struggles to overcome the anguish of childhood abduction, abuse, and a changed identity to become a college basketball All-American.

  The character needs to be more specific. What?s the exact backstory here? Did he get abducted from his real family and is being raised by his abusers who forcibly changed his religion? If so, then you should open with that…

• on A lonely young woman with Asperger’s syndrome become friends with seven cats only to find out that are possessed killing machines.

  The plot of the movie isn't clear. I'm guessing the goal is to rid the cats of the evil influence before they kill someone or get killed by someone who's trying to defend themselves. But how is she going to…