-
on
An oddball couple turns a simple break up conversation into a fatal encounter when ulterior motives for the split start surfacing.
This logline is the sort of logline that gets on imdb.com or in the TV listings. But I see this website as more about writing loglines that act as a tool for helping me nail my story structure, the throughline,…
-
on
When an art fraud investigator receives a package containing a stolen diamond from a man claiming to be her long-lost brother, she discovers that her father masterminded an international diamond heist and then travels to Geneva and underground catacombs in the Siberia wilderness to locate the stolen diamonds and return them to their rightful owner in order to save her father, who she thought was dead, from the consequences
69 words - really? This is more like a short story than a logline, and it's way too complicated. You have to read it several times to understand what is going on and even then I'm still not sure. Try…
-
on
With the mysterious arrival of a stolen diamond, a forensic investigator goes on a quest to Siberia to uncover a decades-old international crime linked to her lost family
Never describe a main character as 'the heroine' - you cant get more generic than that. The throughline is unclear - does the protagonist solve the crime or they do they find their long lost family?
-
on
After a land survey reveals that her fence is in the wrong place, a homeowner, unwilling to lose part of her backyard, wages war against her neighbor ? no matter what the law says.
My issue with this logline is that it sounds far too mundane and normal. Also, the main character is in the wrong (the law says) but their desire to pursue the matter makes them seem unreasonable and someone I would…
-
on
When the first time travel ship crash lands in the prehistoric era, the crew have 3 days to fix the ship before the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs strikes ? exactly where they are stranded.
Why's that?
-
on
When the first time travel ship crash lands in the prehistoric era, the crew have 3 days to fix the ship before the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs strikes ? exactly where they are stranded.
okay so I'm having a bit of fun with this one, to see if it has legs. It just popped in my head and I had to share it.
-
on
An art forgery expert is set on an involuntary adventure that promises to solve an old crime and reveal the secret of her vanished family, all this after a mysterious man delivers an unusual package to her apartment.
The 'involuntary adventure' sounds like a passive MC who rather than takes action, is merely reacting. Personally, I would avoid this type of character - you want your MC to be the driving force.
-
on
On the eve of their 50th wedding anniversary dinner, Uncles Mark and Robert, help their family come to terms with alcoholism, an issue threatening to destroy a beloved nephew.
As long as you keep the word count 25-35 words, including these extra bits of info helps clarify the story details. It wont be a synopsis. It needs to imply what happens in the beginning, middle and end (but no…
-
on
On the eve of their 50th wedding anniversary dinner, Uncles Mark and Robert, help their family come to terms with alcoholism, an issue threatening to destroy a beloved nephew.
It would be interesting to know what the issues are so that we get an idea of the subject matter, the stakes, the theme? You also say 'some' not all, so who are the some?
-
on
On the eve of their 50th wedding anniversary dinner, Uncles Mark and Robert, help their family come to terms with alcoholism, an issue threatening to destroy a beloved nephew.
No problem, I've learnt from this site that literally every single word counts. Update the logline and resubmit it and I'm sure you will get plenty of good advice.
