TullyArcher

Recent reviews

• on After her estranged father’s death, a free-spirited activist must return to her political roots and take her place in her family’s business of corporate law.

  Why "must" she?

• on A jailed former wrestler, gets another chance in the spotlight by putting on wrestling shows in prison, but after his early parole, he struggles to cope without it.

  This sounds like a comedy to me. One I would enjoy! But you said "drama", sooooo... I see from your comments that maybe you're not clear on the tone of it? It's point?A straight to point B. Had limelight, wants…

• on Revision 2: A telepath must install a countermeasure in a guarded government facility, before an anti-telepath weapon is launched.

  There's a line under your logline. Under that, another line. Between those two lines, if you hover, three buttons will appear on the right. One of those is your edit button. You could also have added the new logline in…

• on 2112: the government is about to destroy a city?s ability for deep emotion, an outcast telepath must trade in her beloved, to rescue someone murdered in the past to start an uprising.

  First of all, this needs help grammatically. Second, the phrase "must trade in her beloved" is too... simple? Like... she's either going to or not. And we assume she will. You're supposed to mention the GOAL of the main character,…

• on After a chance meeting with his high school sweetheart reminds him he?s not who he aspired to be, a responsible 29-year-old risks his healthy relationship and stable career to live the life he dreamt of.

  For the new one: I dig it more, but it still feels a little conflict-free. My first thought was "why doesn't he just explain to his girlfriend that he'd like to be more adventurous or whatever, and give her a…

• on When a YouTube video ridiculing his attempt to feed off a millennial makes him a laughing stock, an ageing vampire rallies his fellow ageing monsters to remember their roots and terrify the community until mankind dare not venture out after dark.

  This does sound funny, but I'm curious, why specify "virgin"? Don't vampires feed on everyone?

• on After a chance meeting with his high school sweetheart reminds him he?s not who he aspired to be, a responsible 29-year-old risks his healthy relationship and stable career to live the life he dreamt of.

  What's an "aspiring romantic"? This reads like he's a little bit of a dick, who's willing to explore options with another girl while he's still in a relationship with this one. I find myself not wanting to watch him at…

• on Sent directly to earth from the Creator, to raise up their Race of Beings who have fallen prey. Things get deadly.

  Those aren't even really sentences. Add a comment that explains your story with no attempt at brevity so we can see what's going on.?Then, we'd be able to help.

• on When the illegal distribution of Opioids claims the life of a high school athlete, a 3rd generation police officer leads an investigation and as the case breaks, the fallout hits close to home.

  Why does it matter that he's 3rd generation?

• on (Having another stab at this one….)

  Also, aren't we not supposed to post the same logline more than once? Aren't we supposed to add the new version to the first post, so people can follow and so the site doesn't get clogged?

• on (Having another stab at this one….)

  I don't see how enduring (so passive!) a sociopath and "restoring her liberty" (what a weird way of saying "get out of jail"!) are connected in any way. You said IN ORDER TO restore her liberty, SHE MUST withstand the…

• on Is logline.it a questions answers website like answersmode.com ?

  Yes but like... why ask us? Can't you read their "about" and "start here" pages or just like, peruse for a minute? :-)

• on When his son demonstrates prodigious Connect 4 skills, a father who was always second-best reconnects with his hyper-competitive family to train the boy and regain the title he lost from their fierce rival family in the quadrennial competition

  How old is the son? Because if he's too young, this is just cruel, and I wouldn't be able to get behind the father character. Something to watch out for.

• on Is this good for a first logline

  It sounds like it's going to be one of those films with tons of close up slowmo on his face as he contemplates. What you're describing all takes place in his head. Is that what you're going for? If not,…

• on When his reflection changes to a young woman who needs his help, a reclusive author must enter Miraland and lead the rebellion against the crooked regime before the corruption spills into the real world.

  The stakes feel just a bit underwhelming to me... we've already got plenty of corruption on our own. Will there be, like, monsters and stuff that will get through? Things that are... I dunno, scarier?

• on A detective being investigated on historic corruption charges becomes an ideal candidate for an off-the books assignment to locate missing evidence.

  What are "HISTORIC corruption charges"? And as others have said, this is set up. I have no idea if he even takes the assignment, yanno? :-)

• on When a con man discovers he has a 14-year old daughter, he struggles to bond with her while shielding her from his criminal occupation.

  The logline doesn't suggest an ending. I see above that you've got some trickery going on (fun) but still, the logline should give me some idea about what the character is primarily DOING and here, what it boils down to…

• on LOGLINE FOR A ‘PSYCH-THRILLER’ In order to restore virtue following a discriminatory arrest, a gutsy but ill-fated escort-worker must withstand and negotiate her way through, the next 24 hours locked-down alongside a parasitic anti-social, who evidently knows more about her than she should.

  If the arrest was discriminatory as opposed to just, then why does she need to restore virtue? I could see having to restore reputation, but virtue isn't why she was arrested, is it? "gutsy but ill-fated", what does that mean?…

• on Take a look into the life of ?Dog? & ?Bird?. Two roommates who work for Cathedral Nightclub as Promoters in the city of Las Viami.

  This is nothing. You've told us nothing.

• on A teen mysteriously cured of terminal cancer becomes the centerpiece of a war between supernatural factions that are hellbent on procuring a miraculous, prophetic pregnancy that grows inside of her.

  Lots (not millions, but lots) of people have had their cancer mysteriously disappear, in this here real world. You need to tell us more about that. What's different about her? And what does the pregnancy have to do with anything??…