Todd Hancock

Recent reviews

• on When a visiting dignitary is murdered, the na?ve youngest prince of a fairy-tale kingdom becomes the Watson to a Holmes-like detective. But, when the detective is also killed, the prince must solve the mystery on his own before the situation escalates into all-out war.

  After revisiting my idea with Trix's advice in mind, I've come up with a new version of the logline. A na?ve fairy-tale princess must solve the murder of her betrothed prince before the situation escalates into all-out war. ?

• on When a man?s romantic attentions are ignored by a woman for many years he lures her into a secret meeting with a messenger who proposes an idyllic rendezvous.

  This sounds like one of those Lifetime movies, but with the evil man as the main character?

• on A thirty-something manchild, desperate to get his recently-dumped best friend laid, takes him to a party where his friend falls for a woman who only wants sex, whilst he falls in love for the first time? with his friend?s ex-fiance.

  While I disagree with mrliteral that it's impossible to follow (I'm pretty sure I understood it), there are 5 pronouns in that sentence. And 4 characters mentioned. A simplification of the logline may be a good idea.