-
on
A toptier bussnies man loses everything in court to his selfish wife, and must accept the father role and provide for his daughter
/hugo
A toptier bussnies man loses everything in court to his selfish wife, and must accept the father role and provide for his daughter or else he will lose custody /hugo
-
on
On the verge of striking it rich
an intergalactic diamond huntress
is summoned to earth for compulsory breeding,
but she is kidnapped by a ruthless space pirate en-route
and must fight for her freedom to make it home
before she is sentenced to death.
In order to make her goal clearer - what exactly is 'home'? Where, if she was kidnapped simply 'en-route' to Earth, will she be safe from the kidnappers? Sounds like an exciting story otherwise, good work!
-
on
A toptier bussnies man loses everything in court to his selfish wife, and must accept the father role and provide for his daughter
/hugo
One thing that might need clarifying is, what are the stakes? What happens if he fails as a father/providing for his daughter? Will he lose her to the wife?
-
on
When the president fails to take his daughter camping during his reelection campaign, she must outsmart his security staff and kidnap him, or risk losing him to the job for another four years. //Anya
A fantastic idea, you describe what she must do; Both journey wise and in the situation and i can clearly see the moive 5/5 in my opinion but it is quiet big. Might wanna try and shorten it with something…
-
on
When a warphotographer is questioned regarding the fate of a girlsoldier in her prizewinning photo, she must find out what happened to the girl, or risk losing both her professional reputation and her mind. //Anya
I like that you describe what she must do or "else". You make it pretty clear what will happen and i can somewhat see the whole story which is super! Might want to add what she must do, spirtually or…
-
on
When a young lawyer dies and is sent to hell, he is determined to break his way into heaven, or he will suffer for eternity./Kalle
A new and revised logline (possibly a few words too long): When a lawyer and his wife die in a car crash and she is sent to heaven while he is doomed to spend eternity in hell, he is determined…
-
on
A brilliant Russian Cadet shortly after his graduation day is being targeted by the CIA, his respond was a personal travel to NYC to change all well-known war tactics with the help of his genius weapons.
You might have a good story going, I don't know, cause even with the explanation in your comment, I still find it a bit confusing. I don't wanna repeat the other comments, but I do suggest that shorten it down…
-
on
When Ed tries to commit suicide a mysterious stranger shows up and offers him a deal he cannot refuse and when Ed break the deal he has to battle not just himself but other more dark forces as well.
/Amanda
Maybe it's just me, but I find it a bit unclear exactly what Ed's goal is and what the stakes are, considering he started on the verge of suicide (how much worse could it get?). I assume the story will…
-
on
When a teenager and his best friend get drawn into a video game, his friend is taken by the game?s antagonist, and now he needs to – not only save his friend – but find a way to get them both back to reality./Kalle
Not at all what I was thinking actually, but now when you've said it, I see that the logline suggests a similar movie. /Kalle
-
on
When a young lawyer dies and is sent to hell, he is determined to break his way into heaven, or he will suffer for eternity./Kalle
Thanks for the suggestions! The reason I picked lawyer was that I felt I could come up with a work related reason for him to go to hell, and that I need him to be fairly clever, and therefore picked…
-
on
The death of their child prompts a grieving couple to perform a ritual that brings her back to life, but a violation of the ritual?s rules has horrific consequences for the couples friends and family.
You've got something here. But so far it's a tagline, not a logline. What you're missing is the action. Check out this blueprint: "When [event] happens, [the main character] must [do main action]". You've got the event; the ressurection gone…
-
on
2019. Mexico is plungded into a Civil War. American Forces help the Loyalist forces escape from the war.
2021. America has split, the North and the South are at war. The Ex-president Marcerella now is a general of the US Joint-Forces unit known as the 6th Army. The Suth are beginig to gain ground and head towards Washington.
2022. Washington once the Capital of America now a battle ground. General Marcerella is the 2nd in command of all US forces in Washington.
A platoon of one of his companies lead by Captain Jamerson head towards a new tactic…
Survive.
During the Platons Patrol, they get into a firefight with some Marines from the Elite CSMC 12th "Phoenix" Regiment, when an unatural earthquake causes the West Atlantic Fault.
The Platoon have a matter of Hours to reach the Extraction point to fly back to Fort Safe(white House) before the Earthquake kills them all.
2023. a years after the earthquake the 6th Army have been given a special mission which is to invade Mexico to stop Mexican reinforcements help the Confederate (republican) States of America.
This, is not a logline. This is the text crawling at the opening of the movie. You know, like Star Wars. A logline is, in essence, a short summary of the film. What you've got here is all backstory. Boil…
-
on
An ex-detective with a troubled past moves to a small town in northern ireland where he discovers a bad omen by the shores.
Here's the problem with your logline: You've got a character, you've got an inciting incident but no story so far. What happens when he discovers the omen (whatever it is). What does he have to do? That's what your logline…
-
on
When a Midsummer celebration turns into a hostage situation, a washed up writer must save his friends and family from being killed by a quintet of desperate bankrobbers.
nicholasandrewhalls: The midsummer is celebrated on a small island in Stockholms archipelago, where the bankrobbers thought they could hide in what they belived was an aboned house. It's isolated, far from any other inhabited island and the contacts with the…
-
on
A young couple travel to a chinese restaurant; little do they know that an encounter with a coven of witches is on tonights menu.
Good premise, but you don't tell us what the main characters must do. What are their actions when they find out that the witches are at the restaurant? Gustaf/Storyutbildningen
-
on
When a suitcase full of 'dirty money' falls from a balcony along with a Japanese businessman, a penniless young Londoner steals the case, a Yakuza enforcer is sent to track him down and an epic battle begins on the streets of East London.
While I like the idea and setting you need to streamline your logline here. There are simply to many words. The essence, all you need, is "when an event happens, the Main Character must do X". "When a penniless young…
-
on
Posing as a prostitute, a moral housewife penetrates the underground sex-trade in order to find her missing gigolo son.
:D Thank you!
-
on
A young man with no memory except for the last five years finds out he's an android sent to infiltrate the human race before the aliens arrive to take over earth. He must now save his new home from his own masters depsite just now starting to know his own powers.
Thanks for the feedback. I've rewrote the logline like this: A young amnisiac finds out he's a superpowered android sent to infiltrate earth before an alien invasion. He must now fight both the aliens and the distrusting military in order…
-
on
A School-janitor finds out that the extreme pains he just started suffering is because of a young student made a Voodoo-doll in the spitting image of him. Now he must get his hands on the doll and protect it from harm before he dies trying.
Thanks for all the feedback =) Here's the revised version: "When a cocky, tenacious gym-teacher finds out that his random pains are caused by a Voodoo-doll, he must find the lovestruck, dimwitted student who created it to break the curse."…
-
on
When a prude housewife's perfect son goes missing, his secret life as a gigolo is revealed and the mother decides to pose as a prostitute in order to infiltrate the underground world and find out what happened to her son.
Thank you both so much for your comments :D I can definitely see what you're saying!