Stephanie

Recent reviews

• on Massacres and mysterious disappearings are occuring in the Kabyle mountain regions of Algeria by a dangerous beast. A professional hunter is engaged by authorities to track down the creature and eliminate it, he will soon realize the task won’t be as simple as his previous achievements.

  I think your log line would sound better as follows - When an expert hunter discovers a ferocious beast, he risks his reputation if he doesn’t pursue and capture it to save a village at the expense of endangering his…

• on Massacres and mysterious disappearings are occuring in the Kabyle mountain regions of Algeria by a dangerous beast. A professional hunter is engaged by authorities to track down the creature and eliminate it, he will soon realize the task won’t be as simple as his previous achievements.

  “he’s” Not the protagonist. Best in a logline to state the protagonist upfront. Best to start...”When (protagonist). Say what happens/occurs...then what they must do or not do and why...and what will be the result if or if the goal isn’t…

• on After being transplanted with the arm of a recently executed bandit, a shy and coward farmer must learn how to control his new body part and overcome his cowardice when a violent gang led by the bandit’s vicious brother threaten the town and the woman he loves.

  Why does it matter that the protagonist is a farmer ? What you’ve described is “a peace loving ethical” person who must behave in an adverse way to his usual values and strength of character or stand witnessing the destruction…

• on A sexually repressed teenage boy with a sex therapist mother finds an unlikely friend and business partner in the bad girl at school when they decide to start offering covert sex advice to their classmates.

  This is an idea not a professional written log line. Karel’s tutorials on logline writing will help you structure a 30 Word statement in an industry professional way. Check YT for the tutorials.

• on Hapless new mother Audrey attempts to navigate the pressures and problems of motherhood. This is no easy task, especially with a selfish mother, a workaholic husband, and an oddball mothers group to contend with.

  Nicholas, what you’re written is a story idea. It is not a logline. The above review offers some positive suggestions. Also I suggest you’ll benefit from some of Karel’s logline tutorials that are available, on YT. What are the pressures…

• on When a frustrated intelligence analyst realises that she has unique insight into a series of international assassinations, she must level up into the world of global espionage to learn more about the sociopathic young woman who is doing the killing. But is this a deadly game of cat and mouse, or a love story?

  Loglines do not have a question. You’re the script writer and your aim is to, inform the reader not seek their Predictions. Usually log lines are around 30 words. Yours is much longer. What happens if and if not the…

• on When a young man is cryogenically frozen for a thousand years, he must come to terms with his new life in a comical future full of robots, aliens, and space travel.

  Why not say something that suggest he emerges after being frozen. What does “comes to terms with” say what you mean and also what are the stakes what happens if he achieves his goal and what happens if he doesn’t?

• on A sexually awkward high school student begins giving out sex therapy at his school to help him get his dream girl

  What has motivated the teenagers desire to feign being a sex expert and how will this help him win the girl? So what if he doesn’t succeed at Gaining her attention and love? What are the stakes ?

• on When two wannabe American Pickers accidentally release a demon from the strange storage unit they just won, they must track down the eccentric billionaire who reneged on the payment to discover what the creature was and how to stop the thing.

  Best to have a sing protagonist not 2. It seems to me unnecessary to mention that they won the unit. The face is they opened a unit that they purchased. What will happen if they don’t stop the demon ?…

• on A young surveyor of planets, for the League of celestial nations, is sentenced to the Planet of Incarceration for entering a restricted area. He must discover why he was directed to the location and who authorised it.

  What happens if the surveyed doesn’t find out who sentenced him? What is there to lose or gain. What is likely to happen to him when he finds out who sentenced him. Is it important to mention the surveyors youth,…

• on When his father and brother died in a tunnel collapse, a mischievous young boy must take over the work in mines to survive life.

  Why is the boy mischievous and what will or won’t happen to him if he doesn’t solve the problem. Why is he taking over the mine ? You haven’t explained any of this nor the stakes that raise his risk…