shivtandav007

Recent reviews

• on On meeting witches who fantasize him and have golden teeth, a boy who thinks his crush is out of his league decides to steal their teeth while they battle for his affections.

  Thank You Very Much :) Nir Shelter I'll try my best at improving the Logline.

• on Three sisters are forced to join forces when Alzheimer and stroke hit their family and they need to take care of their parents while learning all about motherhood, forgiveness and the true meaning of happiness

  Please use?adjectives to define your characters.Especially your protagonist(s).

• on Rework: After an interstellar super-freighter goes missing and crew are murdered, an exasperated Homicide Investigator must overcome personal and professional obstacles to solve the whole case.

  I think personal and professional obstacles is not specific enough. An unhappy marriage or a distant child make it more primal,I mean anybody can understand that problems with loved ones is something that makes things harder.

• on I thought about replacing the ‘Romeo and Juliet’ play with a self-written play. “When he meets an exchange student, a socially awkward nerd joins the university play to win the lead role and have his first kiss ever with his crush before she returns to her home country.”

  Your logline is very good in that it follows the rules When he meets an exchange student- Major event a socially awkward nerd - Hero Tries to win the lead role in the university play in order to have his…

• on Mahi doesn’t return to the college after her summer internship and everyone blames her classmate Abhinav who used to stalk her for her drop out, so guilt ridden Abhinav takes a journey to convince Mahi not to drop out because of him, but in this journey he discovers darker and shocking secrets of Mahi.

  Rather than using names use an adjective to define the protagonist that adds to the difficulty of reaching the goal.Hope it Helps