-
on
A New York-based, coke-addicted DJ who is obsessed with 70s disco sees a mob execution so FBI Witness Protection sticks him in a rural Iowa town.
Thank you. ?It is before he has had a chance to testify. A small-time club DJ who is obsessed with 70s disco sees a mob execution, so FBI Witness Protection sticks him in a rural Iowa town while he waits…
-
on
A ‘Thrill-Thirsty’ son learns that ‘Knowledge is a double-edged sword’ and promises to wield it wisely, after crossing roads with his Inspiring-Mentor, his Dad (a celebrated Police-Officer!).
Ok, now tell me in half as many words.
-
on
When a billionaire discovers the Garden of Eden, two Biblical revisionists set out to debunk him, until they learn it might be the fountain of youth.
if it is important there are 2 protagonists, then there's got to be a conflict between the 2, i think... "when 2 Biblical scholars?investigate claims of a true garden of eded, their partnership and their faiths are tested."
-
on
A woman whose mother was murdered when she was a child of twelve, is now, fifteen years later, working as a detective and still pursuing her mother's killer, who, it turns out, is closer than she thinks.
i am just going to take the liberty: ?"when a detective receives a mysterious phone call, she dives back in the cold case of her's mother's murder."
-
on
When an art fraud investigator receives a package containing a stolen diamond from a man claiming to be her long-lost brother, she discovers that her father masterminded an international diamond heist and then travels to Geneva and underground catacombs in the Siberia wilderness to locate the stolen diamonds and return them to their rightful owner in order to save her father, who she thought was dead, from the consequences
i like it, but stick to the essentials: ?"a fraud investigator must track down stolen diamonds in siberia in order to save her father's life"
-
on
When a jealous mother asks her 10 years old geek son to spy on his father,he finds him dating his new teacher and decides to break up the relationship by foiling their every move to save his family from disintegrating.
it's good, but i think it can be way shorter. ?"a ten year old boy sets out to break up his father's affair before mom finds out."
-
on
Life is beutiful- When the second world war starts, a jewish man and his son get sent to a concentration camp and he does everything he can to protect his son from the dangers and reality of the camp.
it is good but i think the part about the wife should be included. ?maybe more about ?"against all odds, a simple italian jew finds a way to survive the holocaust with his family intact"
-
on
A hard-boiled bank auditor decides to get along with her disgruntled colleagues but finds a note warning her of a series of e-frauds targeted to sink her bank, now she must tighten up to find out out who the master thief is or lose her job.
i would lose the part about getting along with others, you don't need it. ?but i don't see the arc of the protagonist: if she is already hard boiled, why does she need to tighten up?
-
on
A ‘Thrill-Thirsty’ son learns that ‘Knowledge is a double-edged sword’ and promises to wield it wisely, after crossing roads with his Inspiring-Mentor, his Dad (a celebrated Police-Officer!).
★ Accepted
i think we need a lit bit more of the external plot in the logline. ?Here it just sounds like an introspective journey...who is the enemy he will have to face to wield this knowledge in order to win?
-
on
When his entire family goes to France and accidentily leave him home alone, Kevin McCallister must fight would-be house robber who have targeted his home.
sorry i spell accidentally wrong!
-
on
When Air Force One and a large passenger plane’s engines fail, the hacker responsible informs one of the secret service agents that he has two hours before each plane crashes to either assassinate the President or let his wife and child die on the other plane.
i like it. ?Write it!
-
on
After a tech genius jokingly replies to a scam e-mail, she must go on the run from a murderous prince who wants his twenty million dollars back.
I like the original logline. ?I read it as he thought it was a scam so he set up a fake bank account, gave it to the scammer/prince (who was not a scammer and genuinely needed help -- maybe because…
-
on
A New York-based, coke-addicted DJ who is obsessed with 70s disco sees a mob execution so FBI Witness Protection sticks him in a rural Iowa town.
Interesting idea for me. ?It is based on a character I created in my "eccentric character" class in a LeCoq school in Torino.