Robb Ross

Recent reviews

• on When a crew of mismatched oilfield workers stay late to finish a job in the middle of nowhere, they are attacked by bloodthirsty monsters. They’ll have to band together to fight through blood guts, and teeth if they want to live to see another sunrise.

  Okay, with such a remote location, the state isn't necessary.While it still doesn't intrigue me, see if this helps to clarify the next attempt: After bloodsucking creatures attack an oilfield that is hours from the nearest town, the first female…

• on After discovering his travelling companion has a bag of cash a man starts a conversation hoping to blackmail him. When that fails he threatens violence that escalates into murder.

  Next logline attempt, try for more of an A Story than the two talking. Or add details to help us imagine lengthy dialogues because even the responses make it seem like they only have one thing to talk about. It…

• on When a commuters’ activist group throws the bar car onto the tracks, lonely office drone Donald Brewster and his boozy compatriot patrons must make a case for saving the raucous rail-car or risk losing their home-on-the-way-home.

  Instead of saving the bar car, the boozy compatriots want to end it? The first one is relatable and sounds like a midlife crisis story where they want to hang on to their vices and crutches and wrong behavior. Perhaps…

• on An opportunistic internship becomes a battle of wits between? an ambitious young man and a manipulative venture capitalist when the former learns that he’s being used as an accessory to the latter’s white collar crimes.

  Good start.Taking Richiev's logline one step further, clarify the "wits" and "turn the tables." Be specific with at least one battle or otherwise paint more of a mental picture.Is "opportunistic"? a contradiction? Sounds like he's there waiting to exploit something…

• on After discovering his travelling companion has a bag of cash a man starts a conversation hoping to blackmail him. When that fails he threatens violence that escalates into murder.

  What is the status of this idea, in development or completed script? Different comments for each and I personally like to give my time to those being developed.

• on After discovering his travelling companion has a bag of cash a man starts a conversation hoping to blackmail him. When that fails he threatens violence that escalates into murder.

  Describe the men. Add the details from the discussion. If the blackmailer is angry about the past, why doesn't he start with murder? How exactly does he blackmail the other? >> both characters have reasons to hate them and reasons…

• on When a crew of mismatched oilfield workers stay late to finish a job in the middle of nowhere, they are attacked by bloodthirsty monsters. They’ll have to band together to fight through blood guts, and teeth if they want to live to see another sunrise.

  After (something other than plain) vampires attack their oilfield, a (protag) must...Full disclosure: I hate vampires. Still, what is the purpose of using a common monster? Is it a metaphor, people sucking oil from the ground are like vampires sucking…

• on In the 1960?s, when her Greek village is devastated by drought, a teenage girl?s parents force her to migrate to Sydney Australia to marry a stranger and bring them prosperity but finds both racism and friendship, opportunities and mistreatment.

  Is the idea being developed or is this already written?Even with four characters, one is still technically the protag or has the most significant arc so keep it from her pov. Maybe you can state the others in general or…

• on A haunted young man must decide whether he?s mentally ill or really seeing ghosts when his recently deceased best friend asks for help solving his murder.

  And if the story is about solving the murder, tell us more about the friend and the world of his that the protag will explore.

• on In the 1960?s, when her Greek village is devastated by drought, a teenage girl?s parents force her to migrate to Sydney Australia to marry a stranger and bring them prosperity but finds both racism and friendship, opportunities and mistreatment.

  No argument there. The point is that it's possible to have too much going on in a story and it's worthwhile for the writer to consider the theme or else how all these work together and get enough time: forced…

• on Series logline:?Set across the NYC Blackout of ?77, a reformed ex-con temporarily returns to his old life of drug dealing to pay for his mother?s hospital bill, but soon learns the game has changed and the players, old and new, are more ruthless than before.

  With all the talk of Breaking Bad and other long series, last thing I thought of was limited!

• on An angel from heaven comes down on earth to be with a depressed young man until the time that finally meets his soulmate in fulfillment of his deceased mother?s prayer.

  Good parts to build on. Agree with most of the other comments.Assuming the angel has no other conflict than in helping the man, the next attempt should clarify how the angel helps and if the angel reveals itself to the…

• on In the 1960?s, when her Greek village is devastated by drought, a teenage girl?s parents force her to migrate to Sydney Australia to marry a stranger and bring them prosperity but finds both racism and friendship, opportunities and mistreatment.

  Good start. Seems like there is? too much going on. If the focus is to be on the racism, integration, and money, then is the marriage necessary? Sounds like the parents would send her there to work, not to force…

• on Series logline:?During the Great Die-Up of 1886, a frontiersman with a dark, shameful past must protect the family he?s taking refuge with from his old Civil War captain, now a deranged U.S. Marshal, who along with his posse is under orders from an unscrupulous company to take their land.

  It sounds like a movie, not a series. Try another series logline, a first season logline if there's more than one, and a pilot logline.

• on Series logline:?Set across the NYC Blackout of ?77, a reformed ex-con temporarily returns to his old life of drug dealing to pay for his mother?s hospital bill, but soon learns the game has changed and the players, old and new, are more ruthless than before.

  Seems the answer is to, with the pilot, offer an outline of the larger story as a limited series, aka one season. The problems arise when this is framed as a full series, like five seasons. Limited, focusing on The…

• on A nonchalant young woman who can feel no romantic emotions asks a hopeless romantic guy to teach her how to fall in love for the first time.

  Along with what Richiev says...That she doesn't feel romance is the issue so no need for nonchalant, which anyway feels off. Instead, paint more of the picture, as with her career or personal situation.The lack of that emotion needs to…

• on A suicidal mercenary sets out to rescue the girl he was hired to protect, the girl who gave him a reason to live, after she’s kidnapped for ransom.

  No argument there. Normally the flaw or issue implies or touches on the theme or arc and here I figured it's the opposite by specifying redemption. If I were working on this idea, there would be a couple of more…

• on A suicidal mercenary sets out to rescue the girl he was hired to protect, the girl who gave him a reason to live, after she’s kidnapped for ransom.

  It's a good point to reflect the emotions, which can also be expressed as a logline being accurate to the story.If it didn't exist and I came up with the idea, a logline for craft could be:In Mexico, a former…

• on After blowing his investor?s money in one drunken night, a socially awkward college student struggles to produce a movie with no budget or risk being found out.

  For coming of age, usually there are more than two points or episodes or there's one episode/story with multiple moments. But if the story remains mostly as is, something stronger still needs to connect the parts and the two parts…

• on In 1977, a reformed ex-con, desperate to pay for his mother?s hospital bill, returns to his old life of drug dealing but soon learns the game has changed and the players are more ruthless than before.

  The Blackout lasted two days. Even if it's stretched, how can it last long enough for a series? For the sake of discussion, a hook without the main character is a fraction of productions or depends on how one defines…