Jeremy Gordon

0 points

1 points to Penpusher

2 loglines
16 reviews

Loglines

A man who blacks out for seven hours each night has feared the day when his two lives collide, and when they do, the lives of millions hang in the balance.

May 2, 2013
Evading a nationwide manhunt, a twenty-first-century Dr. Jekyll attempts to clear his name before his split personality, Mr. Hyde, assassinates the president of the U.S.A.

April 15, 2013

Recent reviews

on A man who blacks out for seven hours each night has feared the day when his two lives collide, and when they do, the lives of millions hang in the balance.

Haha. Thanks DPG :) "Hey guys I've got a great idea for a story... ready... it's about this guy... and each night... he sleeps." Kind of needs some work I agree :)
on The Greek gods and goddesses from myth are very much real, callous, and they are all coming for an unsuspecting 16-year-old Alexandra Adler, whether she likes it or not.

Yes yes, i like: send me the script ;)
on After convincing his reformed felon brother to hold up the bank where the map to a lost goldmine is stored, a disenchanted insurance salesman must finish the job himself when his brother is shot dead by the obstinate bank manager during the heist

Hey Tony, you're still trying to put to much in... just my opinion. Remember what a logline is for... it needs to go smack-wow and then end, making the "reader" want more - your script! What's the story about? Is…
on After failing to save her own partner, the superhero called Nova is a haunted shell of her former self until a woman from an alternate reality appears seeking help – a woman who looks exactly like her dead partner.

A worn-down superhero is forced to face her past when she's contacted by the spirit of her dead partner
on The inept leader of a group of real-life superheroes discovers the true costs of heroism after a rogue member crosses a brutal crime boss.

Ahh, I get it now... Take the gist of this only, it's 2am and I'm tired... When a superhero-wannabe crosses a big-time crime lord, he forces his group of like minded vigilantes into a real game of life and death.
on An envious thief is caught in the crossfire after stealing a car that harbors the recently abducted First Lady.

Thanks :) Your advice on many posts always seems to "nail it". I'll check it out :)
on An envious thief is caught in the crossfire after stealing a car that harbors the recently abducted First Lady.

hey TOR. I may be wrong, but should the protagonist's flaw be relevant to the logline?
on The inept leader of a group of real-life superheroes discovers the true costs of heroism after a rogue member crosses a brutal crime boss.

An inept "leader" ?? That's fairly hard to get past, almost an oxymoron. I'll have to come back to this one.
on A college photography student who discovers terrifying images of ghostly children in her shots of an abandoned amusement park races to uncover a decades-old mystery to save her son from the vengeful spirits.

I liked the original more... I had left a comment but it never showed up. It seems to me that this version has lost the essence/flow/feel of the first.
on Evading a nationwide manhunt, a twenty-first-century Dr. Jekyll attempts to clear his name before his split personality, Mr. Hyde, assassinates the president of the U.S.A.

He shoots... he scores... Thanks, Tor Dollhouse: Sure you've heard this before... you nailed it (hence the update). My only concern is, does this imply that the character is actually called Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde? And if so, does…
on Evading a nationwide manhunt, a twenty-first-century Dr. Jekyll attempts to clear his name before his split personality, Mr. Hyde, assassinates the president of the U.S.A.

Thanks for the input, dpg: I'm interested to see what others think of your interpretation. To me personally, bitter-sweet implies a dark cloud with a bright silver lining. Sweet and sour. Yin and Yang. "Futile attempt" seemed stronger than "desperate…
on Evading a nationwide manhunt, a twenty-first-century Dr. Jekyll attempts to clear his name before his split personality, Mr. Hyde, assassinates the president of the U.S.A.

Thanks for the feedback, brenkilco: Nice point on "how is the split personality relevant?". It is as you said, one is guilty, the other is innocent. His condition and supervillanous abilities are well established within the first 15 pages. I'll…
on After a troubled teen girl is caught vandalizing state property, she is ordered to spend 6 months in juvenile detention center; where she falls in love with the, married, faculty art teacher.

I'm not sure it needs to mention the vandalizing? Sure there's a possible link between her "graffiti" and the "art" teacher... but it could just start: While serving six months in juvie... It is afterall a "forbidden love" story, yes?…
on The matriarch of an Arizona boomtown receives the unlikely help of a notorious outlaw to rid her town of a ruthless Marshal and the corrupt Territorial Judge who employs him.

I see a lot of good characterization here, however, not much else. Is the story comedy/drama about trying to get rid of them? Or about what happens after they get rid of them, and when then try come back? An…
on After her friend accidentally discovers time travel through memory research, a habitually cautious woman risks her sanity and ultimately her father's life by returning to her early teen years to prevent her Charlston-socialite mother's murder.

The premise caught me. Time travel. Awesome. Through memory research... plausible. So far so good. Then I have to agree with dpg: the friend discovering it seems quite passive on the protagonists part, but... not the end of the world.…
on Posing as a prostitute, a moral housewife penetrates the underground sex-trade in order to find her missing gigolo son.

Agree... it's a hook... it hooked me... job well done I say

Loglines

A man who blacks out for seven hours each night has feared the day when his two lives collide, and when they do, the lives of millions hang in the balance.

Evading a nationwide manhunt, a twenty-first-century Dr. Jekyll attempts to clear his name before his split personality, Mr. Hyde, assassinates the president of the U.S.A.

Recent reviews