patricks
0 points
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- 4 reviews
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Thanks for the feedback, everyone! I've been taking it all in and breaking the story some more - here's a newer version: When a young mother whose photos capture terrifying images of the spirit world discovers ghostly intruders in her…
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This was the original: When a college photography student finds images of ghostly children in her photos of an abandoned amusement park, her investigation into a decades-old series of slayings puts her own life at risk. (I asked the admins…
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I realize you're trying to build to the punchline of your hero having to accomplish six impossible things before breakfast, but after the first three or four tasks my brain just shut down.
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I'm not seeing the big moral dilemma between saving a girl's life and slaughtering a village of innocent civilians. The harder the choices the protagonist faces, the better your story. This just seems like a no-brainer, no matter how patriotic…