Nordic12

Recent reviews

• on A nurse saved her patients from secret genetic experimentation, but her investigation exposed her to some of the engineered DNA componenets. Will she survive to save the rest of the world? The rise of Chelsea Dahl, the worlds first nurse super hero!

  Thank you.I've added a line to clear it up.

• on When a young boy is taken away from his father, and starts to get raped by his mother, he must find a way to escape.

  It reads like an opening line or a teaser not a complete logline. Also delete"When" and start with"A" and delete "starts to get raped" and insert "gets raped" to tighten it up and make the action more immediate

• on Before she dies, a terminally ill Irish banker, after keeping her 10-year-old daughter's birth a secret, must arrange for the young girl to meet her ex-baseball star/American father.

  I like it. I have one question, when you say "meet with the father", are you implying the child lives in Ireland and will have to move to the US and live with the father?

• on After being hired to lead a failing breakfast TV show, a talented but undervalued producer is forced to use crazy tactics in order to improve its ratings.

  I am not sure if I should be anticipating a sit com or a clever drama. I think "crazy" leaves some anticipating humor and others, unconventional but clever.

• on When a young boy is taken away from his father, and starts to get raped by his mother, he must find a way to escape.

  I see an event described but not an entire story. It reads like an opening line or a teaser, not a logline. Also I would drop "starts to get raped" and put in "gets raped" and drop "When" and start…