Nat Palazzo

0 points

1 points to Penpusher

1 logline
3 reviews

A centuries-old vampire loses his teeth through tooth decay and must devise new ways in extracting blood from his victims.

June 17, 2014

on A mother and daughter find themselves stranded in the middle of the night on an abandoned road. Deep in the surrounding woods a nightmarish terror stalks them, and they must find the courage to face the beast or be destroyed by it.

You need a unique hook that sets it apart from all the generic horror movies. While I do like it, and would watch a film like this, you need something original to sell it.
on (Drama) Eight strangers will be forced to make a decision that will alter each other?s lives forever. Whether for love, success, money, loyalty, redemption or life itself, the only thing they know for sure is that one way or another, they must choose.

You need to mention what the decision is. All this stuff -- love, success, money, loyalty, redemption or life itself -- is too vague. You need to be specific with the protagonist's goals and what the actual conflict is.
on Seeking exposure for the abuse he suffered in foster care, a United States Army Ranger decides to take the Minnesota foster care system to court.

I like it but why is he suicidal? It's not needed in the logline unless there's a reason for him being that way.