MartyDawes

Recent reviews

• on When confronted with violence in his new home, the son of a buddhist monk must defend himself while still staying true to his beliefs

  When he is confronted with physical violence in his new home, the son of a buddhist monk must find a creative way to defend himself while staying true to his pacifist beliefs

• on When her family unexpectedly comes back into her life after years of estrangement, a young woman must confront her past and the people who will never accept her for who she is.

  Overall it sounds great and i definitely think theres a great story there. I would just suggest maybe add more detail to the character? Maybe "A troubled young woman" ? something like that :)

• on When a delusional young woman is confronted by the closure of her uncle’s vintage car dealership, she must travel cross-country to see it one last time.

  Maybe put the event first and then the character?

• on When a delusional young woman is confronted by the closure of her uncle’s vintage car dealership, she must travel cross-country to see it one last time.

  I think the proper format should be:WHEN (An EVENT happens), a (CHARACTER) MUST (do the ACTION)

• on When told that the fate of the insane is worse than that of a normal prisoner, a murderer who plans to pretend to be insane must attempt to make the court consider him a sane murderer.

  it's a bit wordy - Any way to simplify it?