martinreese

Penpusher · 225 points

75 points to Logliner

13 loglines
11 reviews

A grieving mother uses ancient magic to resurrect her recently deceased daughter despite her own mother?s dire warnings resulting in deadly consequences for those closest to her.

March 14, 2016
Based on true events, an African rises to become a samurai in the service of 16th century Japan?s most powerful warlord and aids him is his quest to unify Japan under one ruler.

October 16, 2015
In 16th century Japan, the African slave of a Jesuit priest rises to become a samurai in the service of its most powerful warlord, and faces the challenge of a corrupt general who is scheming to topple the warlord and rule in his place.

October 3, 2015
In 16th century Japan the African slave of a Jesuit priest rises to become a samurai in the service of its most powerful warlord and faces a corrupt general who plans to topple him.

September 30, 2015
During an intergalactic war a unit of elite soldiers has to stop one of their own who is now under the control of the enemy?s sentient doomsday weapon, a virtually indestructible miles long warship whose goal is the destruction of all humanity.

June 28, 2015
The death of their child prompts a grieving couple to perform a ritual that brings her back to life, but a violation of the ritual?s rules has horrific consequences for the couples friends and family.

May 10, 2013
The chronicles of Nomar Kendrapall, the dying emperor of a crumbling galactic empire, as he struggles to maintain control while his sociopathic son hatches Machiavellian schemes to usurp the throne, his rivals jockey for power, and an alien empire threatens to re-ignite an interstellar war.

March 24, 2013
The dying emperor of a crumbling galactic empire struggles to hold onto power amidst his son?s machinations and the threat of war against a rival alien empire.

March 20, 2013
The dying emperor of a crumbling galactic empire struggles to hold onto power amidst political intrigue and a coming war.

March 19, 2013
After winning a costly battle in an intergalactic war a newly promoted commander must lead a massive assault against an alien that is preying on the fleet?s ships one-by-one.

March 12, 2013

on In post-apocalyptic Africa, a clairvoyant mute and her telepathic son, falsely accused of witchcraft, struggle to escape a marauding group of villagers desperate to burn them at the stakes. ★ Accepted

I think this logline has promise, but i don't get who has the bizarre infirmity. I am intrigued by the clairvoyant mute and her son. Maybe you could say "must find sanctuary in the same foreign country she has seen…
on After Lazarus? resurrection, a Roman centurion must rule the Jewish and a new-born rebel sect to contain the spread of the living-deads.

I don't understand the premise. ?Why must the centurion rule them? Wouldn't it be better if he led them against the living-deads?
on When her brother?s diary mysteriously appears at her doorstep, an art forgery investigator uses it to decipher location of stolen diamonds. She also discovers the truth about her father who masterminded an international heist and embarks on a hunt for the treasure during which she finds her family lost decades ago.

Seems too long for a logline. It is more of a pitch. Try something like: An art forgery expert's investigation to locate stolen diamonds leads to the discovery that the mastermind behind the international heist is her estranged father. The…
on The chronicles of Nomar Kendrapall, the dying emperor of a crumbling galactic empire, as he struggles to maintain control while his sociopathic son hatches Machiavellian schemes to usurp the throne, his rivals jockey for power, and an alien empire threatens to re-ignite an interstellar war.

Thanks to all. i really appreciate the comments.
on The dying emperor of a crumbling galactic empire struggles to hold onto power amidst political intrigue and a coming war.

I will re-post based on the commentaries
on The dying emperor of a crumbling galactic empire struggles to hold onto power amidst his son?s machinations and the threat of war against a rival alien empire.

I am re-posting this based on previous comments.
on John is a 30 years old painter who after years long struggle finally makes it in life with new extraordinary painting technique, but mysteriously horrifying secrets of creating masterpieces cannot be hidden for long in a small city. Will John's secrets destroy his life forever or will he find a way out?

The concept seems interesting, but it is wordy. Try reworking it a bit.
on A young lieutenant?s assignment to turn an antiquated battle cruiser into a traveling museum becomes a life and death struggle when he and his retiree crew must defend a colony world under attack.

Try this one: A lieutenant?s assignment to turn an antiquated cruiser into a traveling museum is interrupted when he and members of the original crew are the only ones in range when a colony is attacked by alien raiders.
on During an intergalactic war a battle fleet wins a decisive, but costly battle leaving an inexperienced commander to rally them when they are attacked by a gigantic space-faring beast that begins picking ships off one-by-one.

Thanks. I was worried about the length. I will try again.
on A young lieutenant?s assignment to turn an antiquated battle cruiser into a traveling museum becomes a life and death struggle when he and his retiree crew must defend a colony world under attack.

Thanks. Your comments helped a lot.